IF

If I not choosen study in KDU...
ans: working

If I not continous my Degree...
ans: regret

If I continous within two years time...
ans: harder

If I change the course...
ans: become more harder for me...

If I study for Law...
ans: 苦尽甘来

If I have change go back passed...
ans: I not regret

If ask me choose again...
ans: Diploma in Business Administration


If I am sucessful to make my dream come true...
ans: happy

If I failed to make my dream...
ans: no direction

If I no direction...
ans: TANJUNG RAMBUTAN ROOM 314

If I got money...
ans: Build up my own business

If my life black and white...
ans: no meaningful

If I got a pair of wings...
ans: flying

If I got BEST FRIEND...
ans: in sweet??? In bitter...

If I not you...
ans: I am who I am



ps: If...if... when can make it truth???

No mood// scare

No modd, no mood, no mood... I really no mood. I feel stress, i feel saad and i feel tired. Yesterday I slept around 12 in the midle of the night but i woke at 4 o'clock in the morning. I do not know why... When I close my eyes I sleep well,but... This trouble long time never happened to me already. But it have been happen always.
Beside, I also feel so emo, I suddenly feel ike don't want to talk and escape from people. Am I crazy??? Now I just feel like I want skip away from here. But I know I got no one bring me run away except myself. Run away from a place need to have big brave and money. Those thing are I don't have.
Always someone told me, now the thing I own is not mine. The thing you want go to get by yourself. Yeah~ I trying hard now. The way become sucessful in my life. Although now I not yet know what my life going to be, but the paople who control my life is not someone else is me.
A writer when holding his pen they can write a good story. The pen is on their hand. ending of the story happiness or sadness is depend on the holder. I am holding the pen, due to I want to write my life become colourful.

ps: I not the types of person easily to fall down and failing down. Sometime, I just need time to stand me up again.
*********************************************************************
Today, I went out from student house. I relize that the gate was opened big big as normal. Beside that, don't know whose came in the house and smoked in the hall and when the people went out but not locked the door[ include the wood door]. And the time, I was alone at home. And I dont know who is that.
DANGEROUS!!!!
Recently, because once of my housemate is doing Degree in Engineering and they have group assignment, then they do it here.But I not mind. However, why they keep not lock the door? If I not here, is it they just left it open like this? In this house, almost each one have own laptop. This never mind, if SOMETHING happen then who gonna to take the responsible?

ps: I told my 'housemate' many time locked the door, why she so stubbron??
**********************************************************************
A movement ago, I feel SOMETHING. However i thinking this house's history going to happen again. Not that scare because i normal for this. ^^

ps: want to know what that?? Ask me personality. ^^

Diary[Chapter thankkk]

Today, talked with my roomate. Remind me a lot of our history. I been this old house 2 years almost. A lot of thing was happened. First came here, I don't know everything. Don't know how to communicate with english. Because when I first came here everyone is out the races. So I just know how to tears. However this trained me growth up. Yet, me is me.^^ One is is communication problem one side is study problem.
I remember, I was get in trouble when in the college. Those people bully me and scored me. I understand but dont know how to scord back. Revenge! After half of years. Be independent, no one help me. But lucky is, I still have one friend and one of my cousin. I pity him, because ever time I in trouble, he is the only one cousin know that. Ya, I am 犯贱。haha... So what? I just kow that if someone reproach you that is a happiness. If the person not care of you they won't tell you. And forever you would not know what you are wrong and they think.
In KDU, a lot of thing was happened. My live in KDU... Erm... Whatever, I finishing my course. But I am lucky, I got one friend whose is close to me. Even she is come from Vietnam, even most of the time we are fight. But the next day... we are find. She is help me a lot a lot in college. I cherish this friendship.
Another is recently we close to each other. She become my wife haha... Because we are have the same thinking way. I like her. She also help me.
The other is my cousin's close friend. He help me fixed the computer until all my housemate remember him and keep asking me about him. Actually I don't know much about him. But my sense tell me,he is...^^ He is my friend also.

ps: I appreaciate those memories...

Old friends...

Friends... this list is random...

Yun, she is stubborn in some of the time. She almost same size with me but shorter then me a bit.

Shita, she is small size like litte. Most of the time people think that she is little girl.

Wen, she almost same size with shita. But this girl small size but like to pretend like adult.

Yee, she is attractive. But she in a relationship. Sad sad..

Gor gor, he is my gor gor becaause we are born in the same year, month and day... He some time sayang of me but some time make me angry!

Shark, he always look for liang lui... Recently until he post his phone number on his wall. [Sharky, no need to worry you dont have girl friend...]

Ming, he is my friend's brother. He is the one always keep quite in the gang.

oh ya...got one more..

Sotong, he is the most duo shou duo jiao one. [ because he is sotong]. Actualy, the whole gang like to bully him...No him no fun..haha..

Me? Me is the most insense in the group. In the group I no need to care about too much. I can talk whatever I want. When they were unhappy to what I said then they just hit me or either steared at me. Then we just pretend like movie actor..haha... However, we know... we know that we are joking most of the time. And we know what going around between us. This relationship almost 10 years. I wish that we are still keep in touch no matter what happen.

I remember that when I am in the trouble the first people who stand beside of me is them. I stil remember during secondary, we were fighting together. The only reason is no let the other to bully us. That why until now got no boy friend... haha...

Ya, those are our memories.. a lot a lot... the thing we did..uncountable...

But recently we are loose our happyness. May be everyone look for seperate way. Feel so sad becaause have some trouble in our relationship... Hmmm

I cherish our memories together...

ps: I not trust my friend. But, honestly to tell you guys, I am choosy and I choosing. 你们是我选中的朋友。所以无论你是贫穷，聪明，能干，勤劳，懒惰等等……you are still my friends. Because I believe on myself.我相信我的眼光。

Tired

I am very tired right now. BM is really killing my energy and using a lot of my brian' cells. But what else I can do? This is my job. I just need to take best in my job, no matter outside is war. I need to, really to thank for my friend, Yun. Because she help me a lot. And my ' lao po' really thank for you guys. And the other try to help me up. Thank you. I really appreciate it.

Shiney: Yun, thank you. Don't feel that I am so fan. Because except from thank you, I really don't know what to tell you. Thank for help me in the assignment. I know your brain cells almost die due to how to make the BM sentence for me and write it down. Until you get Gastric. Take care.

Since waiting for her writing the essay I am study for the other subject and thinking another ideas can provided to her. Idea a lot but how to call in BM? Don't know.

Yun: Selain daripada it, have the other word or not? Which is same meaning one.

Shiney: Beside that...

Yun: This is english.

Shiney: Misalnya... [ busying find phone list...few second, lao po]

Lao po; Seterusnya, sebahagiannya...

Shiney: Thank you, lao po...

This all for my today. Updated...

ps: Going to fell down because fever and tired.

Destroy..

Today, I went to my oral test. I was destroyed in my test. My lecturer don't know what I say. However, I already presented my best. Now i worry how i going to past on this almost forgetable subject. Feel that I so failure. I cannot fail this subject. So sad and disappointed to me. How can I forget all those thing?
Come here study learn english. Go back home use chinese. No chance touch to Bahasa. College said they will arrange the scedure for us to take MPW subject. Find, I wait. Two years later on,

Program leader: Those local students who need to take MPW subject need to register by your own. I not arrange for you.

Oh my God! Why did'nt you tell early? I forgot everthing already.

How I going to handle this time challenge? I really no idea. Exam coming soon. I need to take a break right now. Most worry subject is Introduction Money and Banking. Second is Bahasa and Moral. Those three is killing me. M&B...T.T

Poor in writing in English is it a fault? Poor writing skills is it my fault?
Answer: Yes, is youe fault. Because you not yet prepared. Yes, you are. Because you not yet handle. Yes, you are....

Why still sitting here blaming yourself? Go read more. Is it enough time to me now?

ps: Diploma you cannot handle, how you going to handle your degree? Don't dream. Come back to reality.

=.=!!

I don't know what should I set my title already.

Housemate: Shiney, did you know got few handsome guys move in opposite house.
Shine: Really???
Housemate: Ya, they all look handsome and like 'pemjabi'...
Roomate: Shiney, give me first. Dont rampas with me.
Shine: oh...[not interest]

I am who I am. You want the guy just take it. I not mind.

ps: If the guys is really like you, he will give you enough patient waiting for you or using all the ways he know close to you just because he want be with you.

Lessbian/ toys/ class mood

Recently, some of my friend ask me, are u lessbian? I said: What you think? My friend said:50/50. Then I just answer more confidence then me. You guys are my 10 years friends how can you guys dont know me? haha... I think you guys will answer me: How I know? People will change. But right here I telling you guys, become lessbian... I cannot say that less chance to be, but for now I confidence to said to you I not. Even I wish to.
However, I admit that recently I like to look at 'leng lui' because around me got no 'liang zai'. All is liang lui. So I just look around only. But those are not really liang lui...but is hot lah... Liang lui, just only take a look cannot fall in love. Except the people is nice in character and personality. But that you need time to understand.

Toys

Today, my lao po bring a toy in college. Befere the class starting, we were chating outside the class room. Few minutes ago, another classmate was came in and joined our conversation. She keep playing around with my lao po's toys...

ps: I dont have any one send me the present is toys... 我没有收过公仔作为礼物。pity...^^

Continously, during the class, the lecturer know what I wrote on the survey paper. I remember that I wrote: she should teach Acedemic English. This subject is challenging. She know that I wrote it and just now she try to point out. And she point me. haiz...i think my paper is going dangerous. Better i score in MCQ. Quiz 2!!! Not giving up to any reason!

ps: shiney!!!加油！！！

无奈的一天

为什么今天是无奈的一天？无奈是怎么来？依我的见解，无奈是你早就猜测到事情的结果，你早有心理准备，所以当事情跟你想象的差不多一样或者一样，那么就是了。其实，为什么今天我很无奈？今天，我预测……应该是说我不是预测，我知道，她今天会这样了。无可避免，不能做鸵鸟。唯一……令我既生气又无奈的是，每个人在面对自己的事情的时候都会有压力。可是，你至少要懂得控制。
你做错东西，我不能骂你，不能罚你脾气。其实，是我选择沉默。这就是我的方式，因为我知道，我要认真生气起来，再绝的事情都有可能会发生。可是，我做错东西，你就没有顾虑。有时候我在想为什么你我能忍受你忍了两年多？是我犯贱吗？我做错的只是小事。为什么每次我总是以沉默代替，因为我根本就不想跟你说话。我也有我的骄傲，我的自尊。
大家在同一组。说好的每个人负责一个科目，我的科目做完了。现在还剩两科，一个是你负责，理应，另一个是我的另一个朋友负责，可是，因为她的理由是她负责了moral assignment.所以，现在迫使我必须也负责那个科目。我一个人拿六科: company law, business statistic, moral, bm, m&b and human resources.你们才拿四科。我不怕辛苦。你要我做assignment我无所谓。
可是，可以不可以请你注意你的语气？你压力难道我就没有吗？你有想过当我忙一份不比你少的assignment的时候你在做什么？你问也没问。我甚至连叫你帮忙都没有。我一手包办。没有怨言。现在，你要我帮忙，我帮。你的电脑的program跟我还有学校的不一样，所以design出来的assignment顺序当然会不同。
我很想问你：我到底做错什么？你的assignment我跟本就没有做什么。我只是改了些东西。你的资料你的‘线人’已经给了你全部。而我，还要熬夜把不同的书及note看完，了解……然后才能‘生产’出assignment。你呢？只是花了五个小时，写一份。我花了多少时间？讲师给的资料难道充足吗？只靠他那些资料可以吗？行吗？虽然，这个讲师是很容易拿分。可是，我不想我的东西做的那么马虎。就像你做你的东西那样，认真。
我真的希望你，知道，我也有脾气。我也有压力。不只是你。我只是选择了我的方式掩盖我的压力。也希望你记得，我的压力不比你的小。

ps:你不了解我，那么就不要乱来伤害我。因为我可能会因为你微妙的动作及语言而伤心。

graduate

The person who always skip class can catches lecturer view. But the person who always go for class why lecturer not keep the view for them? The person who always go class dont know anything however people who not always go for class know how to answer the question. What wrong? Izzit the people who always go for class do not listen wht lecturer say? And how to explain people who always skip class?
Today, discuss with my friends where they want to continous their degree? Everyone have their own plan but me??? Still....Again, should I, Am I? Answer? I know. But want to action? erm...whatever lah... Final coming soon... So fast.. This is my last semester. last semester...
Lost confidence, lost direction...I need GPS! haha...

Shiney!!! Cheer Up!!!

Diary[Chapterxxx]

This is my 'third child'. Early in the morning become my alarm. He very truth. Got food then come to you, no food then not border you also. He very naughty. When he want to sleep need a cane. He 'clever' u know? For example, he crying because he want someone to hug him! Damn me... I get bully! T.T He smart because when he want to go kitchen and look for my mom, then he lazy climb to behind, then he look at me and cry... Sometime when himm make you angry, you want to punish him, he throw a sweet smile to you. ==!! How can u punished him with a sweet's smiling face?打不得。骂不得。可是，抱得。

Diary[Chapterxx]

What today i put my title as diary chapterxx? Because i dont know what to name of today mood. Today is father's day, but i have no money to treat my dad a meal. But never mind i tell myself next time i have. Now not in time. I not effort to do that. I promise that, i will treat my dad a meal when i efforts.
Next thing is today i have nice experience...
mom: hey, outside that have free electronic chair. Go to get one sit.
me: huh???[oh my god! Eletronic...hmmm==!!]
mom:as your sister go also after we have a dinner.
sister: i dont want! later sot sha liao.
mom: no! that is no feeling de.
[izzit really no feeling? i feeling now thousand plus' ants around my body.]
me: lier
mom: you dont want to go but your sister must going.
[forcing my sister.]
sister: if sister not going then i also dont want to go.
me:==! I just go there 8 only.

But...... Siting here, nothing to do just can watch football matches.[But I not wear my optical lenses.==sad! cannot see clearly.] It a bit bored. I almost fall in sleep. So that, i just can take a look at around.

I think this blog's name should change to 蓝晶日记部落。why??? Because this blog i will always come here and note down my mood and the incident happen in the day.haha......

God!!

What is the perpose i go to BM class every Saturday? It is boring then I went to Malaysian study class. Feeling in the class: sleepy, boring, flying, dreaming......I am study tatabahasa right now such as: kata kerja==!! Ayat Majmuk==!! now the lecturer make me feel a bit regret why not study hard during secondary school. Go back need to tell all siblings:BM死都要死回C回来！If not you will regret. BM BM headaches!
Now need to write an assignment is about produce a magazine about your college!HUH???!!! Bm(==!!) 4 articles(~~!!/@@) goash!!!!
Cikgu: Setiap orang tulis 4 artikel dan ia mengandungi 300 patah perkataan.
神啊！救救我吧！让我死掉算了！Write is not a problem for me. But long time no read no listen and no talking in bahasa. How to find 300 words for her?
Die!!!!!!


At night, home
Sister: Gor, inside the toilet have cockroach... faster go kill it...
brother: no. dont want.
sister: faster, cannot tahan liao~~~==
(brother sit beside me)
brother: jie, cockroach oh... i scare~~!!
Me: go die!!!==
sister: faster! Go kill it!
brother: there got pesticides. go take it and kill it..
sister: gor~~~ faster!!
brother: as jie jie go...
(==!! are you want to die???)
I staring to him! He faster go take the pesticide and kill the cockroach. After few minutes, he come back and tell me.
brother: jie, tomorrow u no need go toilet already.
me: why???
brother: because corpse is still there.
me: go to take it and throw into rubbish bin.
brother: dont want!
(me... stareon him)
me: go die!!!

Embarrassing

Feeling embarrassing. How u tell someone when u already told him or her so many times? In the same way, how i going to tell my housemate close the door? She not closed the gate door after she drive in or drive out the car. Because she is lazy. And we are already give up become her 'maid' to close up the door for her.
However, she become more worst. Now she not close the front door also. Not the first time we saw and we close it up for her. Hey, i know got someone in the hall. But once they are in front of the computer and wear ear free then do you think they still will reliase someone walking in?
Does she use her heart to care about our life? She got some bad experience before, is it she not learn from that? Here already happened so many time robbery cases. Got few is boy' student house next to our house only. But here is girl student house...
Last time also have someone quietly walk in and stared of our house. Told already, but they still... Haiz... whatever lah, if really something happen i think then only sit down and cry... then the time only they will scare. But i think they still not learn from that.

Helpness!

First story

This is the first blog I created for me to write my life story. And it is public. So i still thinking what language I should use. However ,since this is first time using english to writing a blog and I also need to improve my english also, due to wish u all can correct my grammar mistake during u are reading my blog. Thank.
Today, i make a decision and briefly to require. Actualy this trouble I was thinking so many times already. Today, finally I was did. That was I 'fired' my boss. Actualy he is nice but pay is not that nice. I can stay with him for around two month just because of i want to learn something from him. So, i not really care about the salary. But, now, i can handle all his staff already, so become a boss why not increase my salary?
Secretly tell u, he so sellfish! U know he bring me go for expensive staff then reduce from my salary! Hey! come on u are my boss!!!!! Even my friend is much more better then you.
And his driving so danger when he fetch me i really feel unsafe for me. Fortunately, God bless me! Nothing happen to me. I cannot in an accident. Because I donnot have insurance! And I scare of pain!!! Never mind it over, I prefer my cousin fetch me better. At least he drive fast but make me feel safety.
Cannot be ignore, he is good driver for me.. ^^ But recently he missing. Don't know where he gone. Miss him...^^

公开的心情部落

这个部落格，是我第一次将我的心情公开。同时，这个部落格会被我认为丢我心情垃圾的地方。哈哈……不然就是自己说话的地方。
为什么会被称为蓝晶部落？因为，我喜欢蓝色水晶。总觉得蓝色的水晶会很透澈，很美，迷人……也因为这个原因我的笔名也称作为蓝晶。
在这个部落诞生前，我已经有过好几个部落格了。可是，我都忘记了邮址不然就是密码。哈哈……时常会发生这样的问题。请原谅。
另外，这个部落格也是我分享我的喜悦，生气，无奈的地方。这些都不需要掩饰的。所以可以与你们一同分享。