溫拿樂隊 - L.O.V.E. Love

This song is nice...let us go back to the passed...juz for a movement..^^

两年[part two]

semester 5[long sem]:
来到这个学期已经是我学院生涯的第二年。在这个学期我第一次尝试了失败。怎么说呢？其实，在我身边的都知道，中学时期马马虎虎的度过，不然就吵架以及大家的度过。可是，当你好不容易到了一个有能力让你学习更多的机会，而你也下定决心认真读书的时候，忽然来了一个晴天霹雳的失败。你能想象那种感觉吗？我以为只有政府才那么极端化。可是，我没有想到原来，私人化的更严重。在这个学期里，孤僻的我学会了如何带面具，做人。很简单。我失败的原因是因为那个老师看我不顺眼。你们应该是向这是我失败的借口。我举个例子：有些人没有来上课，assignment不及格，
期中考也不及格[分数差很多]，可是，你们想想，为什么那个人会及格呢？而我什么都及格，为什么我要去resit 呢？哈哈……

semester 6[short sem]:
读的时间越长代表着你的课程越来越深。如果没有记错这个学期是我拿AE2[acedemic english]的一个学期。在这个学期，我们是被训练得。以前只要站在大家面前我不敢说话，不想说话。可是，透过这个科目，我学会了。我习惯站在大家面前表现自己。也是在这个学期，让我了解原来不需要太认真当你面对某些人，也让我学会不要把感情放得太重。你要懂得如何衡量一个人。每个人都有一定的利用价值的存在。除此之外，在这个学期，也是我很压力的一个学期。可以说,到这里读书，我流了不少的泪。为什么？因为我对自己开始有了要求。这个学期，我很讨厌。因为被老师‘欺负’。那时，我真的很不得把那位自以为是的老师给干掉！可是，我不行，因为我知道我还没有那种能力。不过没关系，我很感谢他也很讨厌他。

semester 7[special semester]：
到了，最后的第二个学期，这是一个超级短的一个学期。只有一个多月的时间而已。同时也遇到一个超级严格的老师。我拿的课程是diploma可是她的marking is degree level.当然，她都这样做是很有挑战性，可是，同时也意味着我的步伐逼向失败。这个学期我学尝试到了第二次的失败感。这个不能怪任何人，只能怪自己的无能……吾能达到老师的要求。或许你们会问我，结局是什么？结局就是‘那个’咯！还有什么？继续努力。

semester 8[last sem;long sem]
这个学期就是我现在的学期。一次过拿六科。嗯……还蛮担心的。成绩还没有出炉。希望一切相安无事。不过这个学期里，除了认识了像N这样可以混得比较久的朋友外，我还认识了一个，原来是同病相怜的朋友。

后记：这两年里，我学到的不知是在课业上的东西。可能是我敏感吧！business department的人真的很…………有人问过我：你学到了什么？我的回答我不知道。可是，我现在可以告诉你，我学到最多的是如何处世待人，和别人相处。不过对于我的朋友及家人，就算会被射得遍体鳞伤，我也不会戴上那个面具。因为，我相信他们能够了解。

两年

我想有人会好奇，羡慕……为什么家境没有什么富裕的我选择读这所学校？其实，在这儿之前，我在一间中小型的公司里工作。有一天，遇到老外……呵呵，听不是很懂，说不出口。所以，那时候还在考虑要不要继续升学的我决定了，继续。过后，拜托的我表哥，表姐，询问意见。[其实那时候我心里已经有数了。]还记得，我的表哥跟我说：为什么不拿foundation直接degree。其实，他并不了解，我的生活环境。我有我的考量。最终，我还是选择了我的计划。
这所我就读的学校没有人带我来找。老爸没空，老妈不会路，弟妹们都读书。我就只好硬着头皮跟我的一位死党到处碰钉子。这所学校我是怎么找到的？哈哈……上网找到到这儿的方法。然后我们就到了。问了我要的课程[有两个选择：第一；法律（可是，最后考虑到英文不好，就放弃了）]我先在就读的事我的第二选择：business administration.这个科目是什么‘垃圾’都有学。任何关于商业的东西都有。[偷偷告诉你：其实哪个人介绍的时候我没有用心听也没有用心知道姬以及了解……赫赫]。就这样，第二次我的阿姨帮我搬东西来，就这样我就在这里开始了我的两年四个月的生活。

semester 1（short sem） :
不会听，不会讲，也害羞，所以选择不说话。这是我最痛苦的一次。其实，我之前的生活没有离开过家里。以前在念中学时候我总是向往自由的生活，我总想：如果我能脱离父母的管制那该多好？如果我能有勇气离家出走那该多好？[其实，那时候，我的父母好严。不让我出街，而家里也时常发生状况。]可是，我到了这里才发现我的想法一半是对的，一半是错的。
在这里，妈妈认为我是‘山芭老’出城，所以老是给我打电话。不过我知道，她只是担心我不习惯而已。同时，我一直都认为我是很坚强的。可是，当我接到第一通电话的时候，我好想哭。原来是这种感觉啊？可是，我却忍下了那第一滴泪。
毫无预警的我的阿姨也时常来找我。买东西给我。感觉我好想还小，很可怜。
第一次接触到全部都是abc头好痛。完全看不懂。老师上课时在梦游。哈哈……可是，到最后不知道为什么还是能及格。

semester 2(long sem):
不懂什么是交际。同学们很快就融在一起。而我却选择跟越南朋友在一起。[我就是不喜欢多人的时候，感觉很吵]我有点脱离他们的进度，原因我不知道怎么跟他们沟通。我还不了解他们。我说话的方式很直接，我不喜欢就是不喜欢。如果那个人给我第一感觉很差的话，那么我就很少跟哪个人很少来往。的确很抱歉。第二学期，也是我传绯闻的一个学期。嗯……其实我很好奇，为什么我会被人家说呢？我跟那位同学真的没有什么。我不喜欢他啊！我们只是随便聊聊，一起走路回家是因为同一个方向。这么一闹，朋友没了一个。

semester 3(short sem):
这个学期应该是最轻松的吧？因为对英文的认知都比较深了。会听，会反驳。也学会了wtf[what the fuck].这是第一句我会的。哈哈……然后，我就与我的同学们一起出去。之后就知道这里地形。很快的，了解了。知道方向了。后来就时常出去吃东西，看电影。这是我们在没有课的时候会做的事情。

semester4(long sem)：
这个学期的课业比较难，所以开始很少跟他们一起出去哈拉了。况且那时候他们也开始四分五裂了吧？而我却跟我的那位越南同学越来越‘相依为命’。你问我说为什么我和她可以维持那么久的友谊？老实告诉你很简单因为我们没有沟通，我们初相识的时候，她说不准，我听不懂。到了这个学期我们才把英文训练好啊！可能你们会好奇，这样也能长久？你们怎么沟通？很简单。只要你用心了解那个人，就算不说话，你也会知道她在想什么。只要一个眼神，一个动作。
这个学期也是我们走的很近的一个学期。在人家的严厉可能我是因为对方有钱所以才与她那么近。什么嘛？你有钱你家的事，不要侮辱了我！那时你家的钱，又不是你的。可是，很谢谢她。我知道了很多东西，尤其是关于marketing的东西。是她不嫌弃我从乡下出来的小姑娘，带我到处走。让我知道老师在教室里所常常提到的一些很出名的店，可是我却不懂的店。她并没有嘲笑我。真的很谢谢她。

Well~~~ Speechless

This morning my mom buy a food for me. Wake in the 'early' morning and had a breakfast. I not having the habit take breakfast. Well~~ after I ate... sensitive... painful... I wondering why my stomach so powerful until can differentiate which food it need to reject. I think this food is from the other shop and my stomach reject it! DAMN it!!! I hate!

ps: How to explain? Nothing I can explain...

McD' Cups...

I not really likes to eat McD. But sometime I got no choice... So force me go eat. However McD so smart, they create some attractive and attract more consumer go eat McD. I am one of them. Due to FIFA fiver, McD came out collection of the Worlds Cups. Well I know there are nothing special for the cup but I like. It attracting me...^^ Unfortunately, I still failed to collected it... sad...I own one colour...

Diarry[ Chapterxxx]

Erm...just now become a counselor for a little girl. I never though my second brother very attractive until the girl come and tell him: Can I couple up with you. Just give me a try to couple up. Wao~~ So dare. But now I feel sad and sorry. Because I talk to her, haiz... My brother not that liang zai, no that smart...except from sport. Well may be when he played basketball or the other sports that is the way let him to attracting girl...阳光型男孩。

The girl... Whatever.

ps: so sorry. I rejected you...

Diary[ Chapterxxx]

Today, gastrick badly. Long time no gastrick like this already. May be this is cause by genes generation? What am I talking about now? Ya. Continous. Today, when I ate also feel very hard because it cannot work. Make me suffered.

ps: PAINFUL!!!!!!!

Me-- stubborn

Me? Did you understand yourself? How much you know yourself? You ask me, wether I know myself well? My answer will be...

Me-- stubborn
Me-- like to make desicion myself
Me-- look strong but......
Me-- don't like people do some desicion for me, you can give me suggestion and your opinion but you cannot over my bottom line and control my life.
Me-- hate the people like......
Me-- whatever
Me-- attenttion to the thing I very mind
Me-- don't like people not serious when come into serious time.
Me-- like to play
Me-- like freedom
Me-- like dream
Me-- like sweet
Me-- challenging
Me-- planing
Me-- move a step toward the direction
Me-- will be success????

ps:No matter how... I will try my best. Make my success come true.... Not giving up easily!!!

After exam

I think most of you after exam will enjoy your beautiful holiday. However for me, I still having some assignment that needs to finishing by end of this month. All my friends prepare go to degree. Some of them go to Australia and study. For me?? Well... Whatever, I think I should follow my plan....
Or I needs to think a new plan? argh.....

ps: ask your heart, you already have an answer inside yours heart. is it???

给你的一封信

里面的含义……实在有意义。

在屋顶飘着竹叶的寺里，
住着一个因失恋而孤单的人，失恋而孤单的人，
他总是说天没什么大
为什么在天上跑的不是车子
他把李子树砍到了
也把池子里的水放掉了
不久他突然明白，让他忧愁的不是落叶之秋
只因为他真是二十多一点的年纪
怀着一颗青涩的心
只希望回到原来倾心的那一刻

hints:每个句子代表不一样的单词。好好领悟呗！^^
[猜不到答案msn我]

故事 [气闻]

一个女生，挑灯到深夜，为了使考取状元。途中，一只‘鬼’敲女孩的msn。

鬼：你温习到怎样了？
女孩：还在温习。
鬼：不是今天考吗？[已经凌晨十二点多了。]
女孩：是的。[等下早上十点]
鬼：在这之间，你可以帮我做 moral assignment吗？
[王八蛋！臭鸡蛋！鬼自己不会做？是鬼自己霸着来做的。女孩和鬼之前说好的承诺，是鬼自己破坏在先。毁约！现在，鬼完成了她的考试，没有考试了，鬼轻松了，当然鬼可以自己做！鬼要女孩帮忙的话，鬼可以等到女孩有空吗？一定要现在？]
鬼：噢，对了，你可以把你的答案透过msn传给我。谢谢。
女孩：ok！[睬你都傻]
鬼：噢，对了。如果你的roomate在你也可以问她我们的survey问题。
女孩：ok！[人家睡觉了。小姐，现在几点了？人家很健康的。]
鬼：你完成了吗？我完成了。不好意思，造成你的麻烦！
[你知道你很烦就好！]
女孩：我考完试后在做给你。[很好！面具人]
鬼：你还在吗？

女孩不想再理那只鬼了！没有回她了。女孩当时真的很气！因为女孩自己负责两份assignment，可是，组员们都没有出手相救。现在要帮忙，就来找女孩。而且还是在非常时刻！将心比心，若果别人在你很忙的时候或者拥有无形的巨大的压力时候这样来对你说，你们的心情又是什么？

ps：那只鬼，拜托你，不要那么自私！用用你的脑！人家的比较严重和紧急！你的还有时间！而且你有人帮忙！你只是拿别的来抄或者修改一下那就行了！而你又想过那个女孩的状况吗？自私的人类！！！！！！不要逼我把你给宰了！！！！！！！

难

爱一个人难，守护一个人更难。
喜欢一个人难，维持一段感情更难。
受伤难，痊愈更加难。
跌到难，从新站起来更难。
恋爱难，谈情更难。
说爱你不难，真心爱你更加难。

开始难，经营更加难。
创业难，守业更加难。
放手难，忘记更加难。
学习难，达标更加难。
学科难，选择更加难。
退后难，前进更加难。
放弃难，坚持更加难。
忍耐难，接受更加难。
梦境难，现实更加难。
情绪难，管理更加难。
考试难，读书更加难。
写字难，记忆更加难。
创新难，思维更加难。
守候难，等待更加难。
迷路难，没有方向更加难。

ps：难；又怎样？

Sore throat

How can I get my sore throat suddently? Oh, My god! Suffering!!! Damn painfull. Inside my body also very hot. The hot cannot come out. Damn It!!! I hate it!!! The most important exam is coming soon. This subject is me consider much also. So stress up!!!

This is the only subject make me take the risks;
This is the only subject make me consider about;
This is the only subject make me much more headaches;
This is the only one....
I like the challenging even i know I'll upsad and fall down when i know I fail in this challenged.

However, I still need to stand up. If I really failed this subject again, then I not take the certificate anymore. I need a break. Give up from this.

ps: Yet, still need to 战胜最后一秒。

Diary[ Chapterxxx]

Law exam really break my hand. Few essay is very long. I wondering after I make a short cut way but yet need to write two pages. 2hours 30 minutes. 4 essays + 30 MCQ. Is it enough time? I dont think so . Even it is open book exam but if you are not prepare then you still will fail the paper i think. You don't have time to find the answer from the book or note.

Yesterday, I have the green colour McD cup. So happy. But the person who take the cup for me looks tired. Worse then me. I got the reason I study for exam. But why... he in holiday mood ma, still tired like that.[ May be he busy date with the other, haha...kidding]. Anywhere, thank for him give me the cup. However i still lack one colour.美中不足。

ps：Thank for your cup...^^

New Housemate

Today got new housemate. She come from Iraq. Beautiful eye and looks cute. However, I feel like i gone back to last time when I first listen to foreigner speak english. I need to filterlization the words she said few time then only I understand her.

Ya, I admit. My english is not that well but basic english I know. Erm... never mind. I think I dont have the chance have much interact with her. Oh ya, she taking Degree in Engineering. Why people around me almost is taking engineering? It is hot course now? Honest to say, lucky i not studying engineering. haha....

Recently really busy... Money and Banking coming soon. Another day insomnia.

BM examination

Today I have bm exam. Erm... not that bad. Because s open. But does not make difference because open still dont know the question talk about and hard to find out answer from the note. Well, finally done this stupid exam.

Now I still leave two subject need to go through. One is Company Law[copy paste exam]. Dont ever think that copy paste is easy because when you start to write then you will know. There are many teories even the lecturer provided answer and question also. Feel no challenge for this exam.

Another exam is Money and Banking. It not hard but for me it is killing me. I need to work hard more and more praticing my essay part. She is expecting us to write like degree level. She tell us this is preparation for ou go up to degree. Well, spechless. You are lecturer. If this time fail then I prepare transfer to Penang campus. Hehe... If go the fail again... Then no need graduate loh... Straight away change course.haha...

ps: Make a wish... Pass enough

GONE

I think my exam gone. My result gone. The paper was so harded. Even how I read and study before and memoried eveything i still cannot answer. May be you will think that, why not try to find some hint from multiple choices? Ya I did. But nothing related to the question. 4 essays just can answer 1/2 what you think about my result? haiz~
After finished my HRM exam i losse all my energy. Because I did'nt eat. Feel so weak. I have a habit, before exam I cannot eat anything if not some bad affect will effects on me. I think I cannot sleep and eat until I got my result. However, what happen when I finished my HRM exam? I need to take shuttle bus come here. Yet, some of impolite people... What? I know you are shorter then me, stronger then me, noise then me, darker then me, big size then me... but, yet! can you be polite a bit? Why you... When I came back here is almost 640. Damn tired. [Next day got business statistic which mean today]
Then go for dinner with my cousins and autie. I was so tired so I did eat much and no mood to talk also yet dont know what they said. After came back slept for 2 hour then wake up continous study for business statistic. Started from 12 in the midnight until 6 in the morning. Jin Hui was study with me during the first three hour.
After discussion I found out my assignment got some mistake is due to my careless. Can I tell the lecturer give me a chance to correct it?haha.... In dream.

ps: It my life. Be prepare something will be, might be happen in the future.

Diary[ Chapterxxx]

Yesterday, I with my housemate went to 1U to had my dinner. Actualy, I will go there just because of I promised her company her cut her hair. So I company her no matter how I am tired. After that, we pass by this shop...^^ Both of us greedy, we bought 6. At the end we ate so full. But really nice. I wish I can bring all friend go there and having together. But I know if I going with someone who don't like sweet then... make me disappointed.=.=!!

However, after we came back we do something bad? Erm.. not that bad lah... just play play only.haha... My housemate suggest me tag baby[my old housemate] and let her jealous. Ya~ I did. She reaction so big.. haha..But just make fun... those people are funny can make me temporary forget the stress and unhappyness. ^^

When we on the way back home... I saw my lovely shirt again... Argh!!!!! Why I dont have money?? Wuwuwu... I can see but i cannot buy. May be you will think that this is a normal T-shirt and nothing special... but... I don't know why it really attracting me. The first seen... Why my insight so... haiz! Why you let me see you again? But if I have money I think I also will consider again and again... It really... haiz... T.T

ps: RM339.00... I want go buy loteri...lol... then use the money go buy this t-shirt...

haha... dream...ZZZzzz

其实我好想对你说

其实我好想对你说：请你不要拖着我的脚步
其实我好想对你说：请你不要浪费我的时间[我不是你的男友，我没有必要对你做那种事，可是……愚笨的我，总是帮了你，而你却不懂得珍惜]
其实我好想对你说：你是时候改改你的脾气了吧？[因为，我想除了我之外没有人再有那么忍耐着你了吧？]
其实我好想对你说：我不是你的肉垫[当你打我的时候，我也会痛，所以我选择默默地承受然后离开。而我，也不喜欢打人。]
其实我好想对你说：我是用真心把你当成我的朋友。
其实我好想对你说：不是我不要告诉你，是因为你没有给我机会告诉你。
其实我好想对你说：为什么我会突然不说话，那是因为我不想对你说出会伤害到你的话。
其实我好想对你说：为什么我总是会对别人笑，而面对你时，却很认真？[那是因为你不是我开玩笑的对象]
其实我好想对你说：除了你之外，你有没有发觉我对我学校的朋友说话时，我总是很轻松自在?笑容也特别的灿烂？[请问你跟我在一起两年了，你有见过我对你那样笑过吗？]
其实我好想对你说：你可以自己独立吗？[两个星期后我们就要面对离别]
其实我好想对你说：谢谢你，这两年教会了我不少东西。[虽然大部分的时候，我们都在生闷气，而我总是在忍耐]
其实我好想对你说：再见了。我的两年的同伴。我不会忘记你。

ps:其实我好想对你说，虽然我有时候很无奈，很生气你，可是，我还是谢谢你让我懂了不少，同时也帮了我不少。谢谢。

Tired

Recently I really tired. No matter from pysical or any other... Actually I still thinking what am I suppose to do after 15th July. After that I just leave MPW subject only. So boring. I should not waste my time right? i need to get a job as soon as possible is it?
Be honest, Money and Banking really killing me now. I really scare.I think you guys will scord me why you wasting your time sitting here thinking those thing which are no need to think about. Actualy, I dont know. That is one part of my life and I need to go through. Similar with i dont know how to cross the trouble but I have to be brave.
I want to study in high standard of ccollege, but I think I cannot. haha... Impossible for me. Give up! Go to get a job...


ps:Sometime i really wish that have a shoulder borrow me. Even a minute also enough for me.
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Recently, one of the guy in the new friends's list who are like to talk always talk to me, make my lovely housemate started make fun of me. When they talk I dont really understand what they say so that I just keep quite. But this brother talk to me... Yet in my mind smile is polite way to treating a people. Due to he talked was funny and both of us laugh. Therefore I think this is the main reason for them misunderstood. But dont care, this types of life i go through so many time. As normal...

ps: speechless
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Today, i shocked bacause one of my friend like to eat McD then I do not know. But is not fault because we are seldom to talk. He always busy to his staff and me recently also busy, tired. However, when I talk to him today, i am happy because he got the McD cup... Yeah~ I can continous collecting. But I feel disappointed also because he just got one of the colour that I missing. Still lack of one. No more complete...

ps: Thank for you...

New friends...

Yesterday, I totaly don't know how to do. And I study the assignment until 3 o'clock in the morning. Right here, I thank for my lao po. She helped me even she not taking the same subject with me. She taken past year. Is she sit down and helped me. I swear, I really appreaciate it. Today, in the morning when i on the way to summit the assignment , Jin Hui text me and borrow my assignment.

ps: LAO PO, thank you very much...
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Today's story. Erm... nothing special happened. Just some of the staff... Oh ya, i knew new friends. Those are funny and are noisy?? Ha ha, never mind, i just happy because i made new friends and i long time don't have the feeling like this. They like to talk a lot but all is funny thing.
one of them asked me: Did you have boy friend?
me: What you think?
he: have.. don't have...
me: ^^
he: dont have...[ the other two started to discuss whether i got boy friend]
me: ya, you are right. I don't have.

I just wonder why people always ask me got boy friend or not? And they are so supprise i don't have. Then the time i just give some rubbish reason.

ps: Still waiting for someone find the heart key to open the heart lock. ^^

L.O.V.E

受过伤的人通常都会说：忘记。可是，你们有发现么？忘记比不忘记还要痛苦。再说你真的忘得了？放得下吗？时间只会冲淡一切，不会让你忘记的。就算有一天，你突然失去记忆了，可是，我相信当你恢复记忆的那一刻，你会记得。那时你会更加的痛苦吧！每个人都会有不愉快的记忆，不愉快的记忆就把它当作受伤后的药，愉快地记忆就把它当成甜点。
如果，那个男生是喜欢你，那么他就不怕别人会嘲笑你的弱点。在他眼里，你是最完美的。如果，他因为别人的冷言冷语而放弃珍惜你，那么放手吧！你有你的骄傲。如果那个男生只是利用你，那么你要继续吗？你可以忍受到什么程度？
喜欢一个人很容易，可是，放下却很难。爱上一个人很容易，可是，摩擦记忆却很难。想念一个人很容易，可是，控制自己的想念却难。

为什么不要尝试放开呢？有空拿出来回味。虽然，那味道已经变质。
为什么总是为了这些事情苦恼呢?
为什么总是选择忘记？比自己不要记得那些记忆呢？
别忘记，是你在写你的人生，它是你生活的一部分。


ps:不要尝试忘记，因为你会很痛苦。