Tears...Droped...I'm useless...

Where I from Where I go. But if you do not know where you from then where direction you needs to follow? I do not know. In this time this challenge.... Ya, I admit that I failed.
I do not know that I am useless. I do not know that I'm so week. I do not know that I always stay in the dream. I do not know that where can I go. I do not know that what can I do. I do not know that the way achieve my dream is so challenging. I do not know that I'm really stupid. I do not know that I really... really...
I do not notice when my tears become more heavy and drop down.

wo zhen de mei you yong. Shiney Wong! Why you become like that? Feel so week...

ps: currently I feel so down and my tears become very very heavy... Again drop down.

Diary chapter XXX

最近为了某些事而烦。同时，最近也为了某些事儿而无奈。今天是观音最后的一个诞。老妈子叫我拿佛牌去开光。后之，我骑脚车去了。不知是否太久没有骑车的关系，所以好累。感觉老了。到了那儿，有人上童。可是，我的佛牌是由一位说客家话的阿伯帮我开光的。幸好我的客家话还不赖。虽然不是很会说，可是至少听得懂。 那个阿伯对我说：你戴佛牌不能跟男友有太亲密。之后他又说：你的心不要那么野。这句话真的耐人寻味。我到现在还在消化这句话。

ps：到底哪句话是什么意思？难道那些神鬼之说真的那么灵吗？

第一次那么的羡慕

今天看晚间新闻……看到一则关于上海—世博会的新闻。突然，心存羡慕那些有机会到那儿游玩的旅客。有人说去过那儿的人，认真地把世界大部分的国家历史/文化阅读，你就是可以说年到了世界各地。也有人说那儿真的是你增广见闻的地方。

ps:以前的我不会那么的羡慕，可是，这次我真的觉得有点可惜……羡慕……

Updated!

在你的笑容里隐藏了什么东西？
在你的笑容里看到了什么东西？
在你的笑容里感受到什么东西？

笑容给人的印象真的不可以忽视。你不笑人家会说你很凶/你为什么那么认真？你傻笑人家会说你没有‘吃药’。难道他们不知道笑看天下这句话？最近很忧伤……很伤心。没想到，我的命运还是注定如此。

ps：命中注定！靠自己。算了，我不说，我不笑，我不哭，我不见，我不求……这样，你不用为难。这样你不用烦恼。

14/10/2010

In this day I went out with my bosses again to have lunch. Erm.... be honest, my bosses really gentleman. Suppose is staff take food for boss but this is not. This is totaly opposite. ^^The other thing is my boss order one bottle of bear. I drank one cup. Nice taste. This bear not like I drink before. It is SMOOTH and not that bitter with heavy taste. I like it.
After I drink that really fell better and me also can sleep well at night.

ps: I like my bosses because they are patient and respectable to a staff, me!^^

^.^v

Yesterday, I was with my new housemate went to Cheras's pasar malam. I'm felt happy because since from that day I leaved my student life I not enjoying pasar malam life for long. Some of the funny story:

1. We went to a stall which is selling girl's staff.(me and 3 other girls except from the driver[boy]). Me and the rest of the girls busy choosing and looking. Nothing is I wanted!Stand aside. I saw her brother so shy when 2 liang lui keep move their step closed to him. He keep move and move so then he can keep in distance but both of the two liang lui not care and NO notice the he is standing there.At the end he leave the stall standing oposite of the stall and waiting for us.^^

ps:It really funny!

All is girls just her brother is differ. Feel why he so patient when we choosing in one stall. Wish this life will be continous with myy different friend again. But I guesssssss it very hard.

2. I saw two LIANG ZAI in the pasar malam yesterday. Wao~~~ They are so hot!!!!!!!

Recently...

Recently I felt very tired. Is it because I cannot sleep well? Or I feel that I'm wasting my time to working here? I really feel sleepy, I do not know what will be going on after this month. I do not know am I ahead near to my dream?
Last weekend I went to my frend's house. I really had fun in that weekend. But sadly, I still not efford to treat my friend even one meal. I'm failure. Me and her bullshit a lot. However most of the time we did'nt talked so much because our GOOD SENSE does not needs any communication then we can understand each other. Is it? haha...I guess yes!
I break my promise. I promised her I'll go to her country in this year. But I can't. Right here I talked to myself in year 2012 I'll go Vietnam!!! I swear! By now, so sorry N.

ps:sleepy now...

Yesterday

Yesterday I was summited my resignation letter. This is first time I wrote in proper english's letter. ERM....My feeling: HEADACHE. Why??? Because I scare and I don't know how I ging to start my writing. I'm gave a broken reason for him. When I passed the letter for him, my boss just said: wao~so fast give me resign letter. So,which mean he can scan me I will leaving and cannot last long in his company. What can I said is He so smart.

Now before I leaving he more then enough to use me for helping him check comapny's account. Use all my energy. This is the part I DISLIKE very much! It must be very careful and use your mind so much! Then you needs to count. It is a heavy job! This is an accountant's job also, but is not mine! If I know you will asked me to checking all the account, then I would'nt let you know and help you checked your account before. Nvm this is experience, I told myself.

Bosses you are smart but you don't know how to keeps a good staff for your company. And you do not know how to catch a people heart and understanding. I wish you all the best in your business.

ps: prey for you.

Thinking....

First thing in my mind WHO AM I??? Not only you cannot understand me sometime I also don't know who am I. Sometime I know myself very well sometime I don't know at all. For example, passed few week I watched a Hong Kong drama<>. Why do I likes that drama so much? What does I likes it? I love it, first, I likes the styles and fesyen make up and dress up in that drama. I love the JAckies's character. It is similar with myself and I jealous she have the life like that even at the end,she choose to give up from her LOVE life. However, I know that she will do that. Because in her mind or plan don't have any step is planing for build up a home.

For me, I don't care about love for now.I admit I scare about love. Love will make you blind and crash your mind. Not everyone can accept two person live. Not everyone needs a home.Not every women needs guys. Not all guys needs women. Why do getting marry? Married just a paper provement for such person. You can married also can divorse.

I know I this is wrong. I don't know. Not less person said that: You are high requirement, I spainless to date with you. Why do you tell me that? I not give you change you need to create your chance for yourself. Is not you cannot reach my requirement is you do not understand what I needs. Is not you do not understand is you not that like me so you do not spend too much. Ask your heart. Am I correct? If you really likes someone sure you will find out that way to get that thing you really likes so much.

ps: If you really likes the thing so much you must try your best to get. Not for any prove just because DON'T let you regreting.