End of 2010

Today is end of 2010. What is you wish for new year?

In this year, I was a student. I admit that become a student is much more better then a adult. I miss the life become a student. However I know that I cannot always hide in passed. Here is my challenging. The other types of challenge. I wish that I can stand for it.

Unfortunately, I also feel scare. How to say? Erm... because I going to 21st next year. But now I still got nothing. haha.....I cannot compare with the other. After I go out working I not regret I make this decision. It is correct.

Well, in new year, I think i should plan a new thing for me. ^^ Wish that dream will come true...

ps: Make a wish...

昨天日记

很多人问我你现在这份工作怎样？意思是说：好吗？我的答案其实很简单。因为我很懒惰解释。原因很简单，他们不会了解这种感受。我知道当我摄入社会大学什么新事物我要从新开始，毕竟社会大学与学校的生活截然不同。说真的我读的书不少[我这次真的有努力在读书哦！上了学院后。] 可是，我这份工作完全没有用到我学学到的东西。

再者，老板真的吝啬的过分。我可以忍。可是，有时候真的会忍无可忍。我不是自作聪明，只是当你接触那样东西以后你的思想和作风就会不一样了。这个老板说真的我真的不喜欢。并不是我要求高哦！这是真的。

昨天……我接了一通顾客打来投诉的电话。他开口闭口都是些不好听的话。还是粗话呢！嗯……有点想骂回去。可是，我还是忍了下来。有另外一个人去接。

ps:过了年，是时候了吧！

Report for yesterday

Yesterday was heavy rain... I walked in the rain and now I getting sick. Feel so cold. Why I not bring my umbrella? Ya because I was late and I rushing for time. So this is the effect I getting now...

Recently, cannot sleep well because someone stupid always keep knock something at the mid night. I know that not a matter for me, but it is too noise... And someone mother was scored her child at night. Damn it!!!

ps:=.=''

Christmas Eve

Here is my Christmas presents....hahaha....

Last Christmas I give you my heart... I wants to ask the next day you will gave it away?

Hey hey hey..... My dear friends Marry Christmas and happy New year. Erm... For today and yesterday I was happy because I have been cerebrated Christmas with my family in Genting. But don't have the feel. How to say? The Christmas feel is not that strong. However I can enjoy some nice foods also...

What is you Christmas wish? ^^

ps: Wish you guys always happy....

=.=''

Today I do not know why.. I easy to get angry... Normally I can say that my EQ is higher but now I scored a people under my current company's outlet. I know I can forgive him but I do know why I lost control to my angle. Feel sorry to him. But it is not my fault! Also no his fault! Who ask him don't want to speak to me nicely?
The other story is more worse! Why uncle always keeps some trouble to me??? You know that I got so m any work? You cannot read the amount then ask me to read for you and then explain to you! Hey!!!! I busy!!!!!!

ps: I do know why I have to stand here. Continue working here. I really do know... The experience I getting is nothing except I know how to use photostat machine.

No $$$

From today I become poor. How can this little money stand until next month? Even I not eat lunch. I still not enough to cover. Haih...
Well now I just starting my new life. I cannot stop in the half way. Although I feel so tired and tired. Forcing myself cannot cry and accept this facts. What is my next? I do not know. I wish I can continues but in between I also wish I can stop here....

ps: every day fast noodle ba! Hairs drop.

Sad

There was two sad news was happened recently. I really shocked when I was knew about it. Both also the same thing. It make me so scare I will lost my parents. Their Dad just dead in short. SHOCK!! Yet, I feel so sorry because I cannot attend the funeral.

Even I experienced that my family member disappear from one by one in front of my eyes and year by year but yet I still cannot stand their painfulness inside their feeling. Because they are more painful then me. And me cannot compare with them.

After I not went back last month and I'm stayed in my auntie's house for around a month. One week back I got the news this bad news. Then I starting to miss home, miss my dad and mom...
I feel so scare I'll lost them just in a movement time. I scare I cannot see them and argue with them. I know that in a family must have some arguing. But yet there are still have some memory are fully happiness. I cherish the memory. Those memory's feeling other people cannot notice and understand that.


ps: I miss you dad and mom... I miss my home also... T.T

无业游民的日子

对啊！无业游民的日子。这应该是我刚开始的钉板吧……这段日子里，总是控制自己不要让自己的眼泪往下掉。这是我难得的经验，因为自得的笨，也因为自己的无知，所以才会在开始时就跌到！不过总算学会了不要那么天真！社会大学真的跟学校生活差别很大！其实，无业游民的日子真的不好过。很不习惯无所事事的样子。这段日子里，我很感谢我的阿姨肯收留我。因为我不敢回家。我没有勇气去面对我的爸妈。一个多月里……我做了什么呢？

1.发霉

2.旅游

3.找工作

4.学唱歌（可是，总是学不好。真笨！！）

5.学游泳（以目前的情况来看，跌进海里的话，还是会被淹死。）

6.讲废话

现在开始了新的生活。希望能够尽快适应。

Blog updated.

Recently I across some difficulties. I pity my friend and thank a lot to my friend. They are always keep beside me. I appreciate for that. However now I'm get a new job. Between I looked for two jobs before. Both also said that to me I am too young. It hurt me a lot. After went back home no one is knew that I was cried. ^^
But,I told myself no problem. This is challenge for me. While is another wrong GOD. haha...

ps:my drear friend thank a lot to you....
You know who you are.

沒有ending的挑戰

人家說跌到是給你從新站起來的機會。很久都沒上來寫blog了。原因我沒有電腦，有電腦等於沒有因為 沒有的上網。老實說我很懷念讀書的日子，至少不比煩那麼多的事。現在原本準備在社會上衝刺卻覺得自己無能為力。真像個廢人。可是我知道艱難的日子還沒有結束因為這只是剛開始的遊戲。這也是一場沒有終點的遊戲。

Tears...Droped...I'm useless...

Where I from Where I go. But if you do not know where you from then where direction you needs to follow? I do not know. In this time this challenge.... Ya, I admit that I failed.
I do not know that I am useless. I do not know that I'm so week. I do not know that I always stay in the dream. I do not know that where can I go. I do not know that what can I do. I do not know that the way achieve my dream is so challenging. I do not know that I'm really stupid. I do not know that I really... really...
I do not notice when my tears become more heavy and drop down.

wo zhen de mei you yong. Shiney Wong! Why you become like that? Feel so week...

ps: currently I feel so down and my tears become very very heavy... Again drop down.

Diary chapter XXX

最近为了某些事而烦。同时，最近也为了某些事儿而无奈。今天是观音最后的一个诞。老妈子叫我拿佛牌去开光。后之，我骑脚车去了。不知是否太久没有骑车的关系，所以好累。感觉老了。到了那儿，有人上童。可是，我的佛牌是由一位说客家话的阿伯帮我开光的。幸好我的客家话还不赖。虽然不是很会说，可是至少听得懂。 那个阿伯对我说：你戴佛牌不能跟男友有太亲密。之后他又说：你的心不要那么野。这句话真的耐人寻味。我到现在还在消化这句话。

ps：到底哪句话是什么意思？难道那些神鬼之说真的那么灵吗？

第一次那么的羡慕

今天看晚间新闻……看到一则关于上海—世博会的新闻。突然，心存羡慕那些有机会到那儿游玩的旅客。有人说去过那儿的人，认真地把世界大部分的国家历史/文化阅读，你就是可以说年到了世界各地。也有人说那儿真的是你增广见闻的地方。

ps:以前的我不会那么的羡慕，可是，这次我真的觉得有点可惜……羡慕……

Updated!

在你的笑容里隐藏了什么东西？
在你的笑容里看到了什么东西？
在你的笑容里感受到什么东西？

笑容给人的印象真的不可以忽视。你不笑人家会说你很凶/你为什么那么认真？你傻笑人家会说你没有‘吃药’。难道他们不知道笑看天下这句话？最近很忧伤……很伤心。没想到，我的命运还是注定如此。

ps：命中注定！靠自己。算了，我不说，我不笑，我不哭，我不见，我不求……这样，你不用为难。这样你不用烦恼。

14/10/2010

In this day I went out with my bosses again to have lunch. Erm.... be honest, my bosses really gentleman. Suppose is staff take food for boss but this is not. This is totaly opposite. ^^The other thing is my boss order one bottle of bear. I drank one cup. Nice taste. This bear not like I drink before. It is SMOOTH and not that bitter with heavy taste. I like it.
After I drink that really fell better and me also can sleep well at night.

ps: I like my bosses because they are patient and respectable to a staff, me!^^

^.^v

Yesterday, I was with my new housemate went to Cheras's pasar malam. I'm felt happy because since from that day I leaved my student life I not enjoying pasar malam life for long. Some of the funny story:

1. We went to a stall which is selling girl's staff.(me and 3 other girls except from the driver[boy]). Me and the rest of the girls busy choosing and looking. Nothing is I wanted!Stand aside. I saw her brother so shy when 2 liang lui keep move their step closed to him. He keep move and move so then he can keep in distance but both of the two liang lui not care and NO notice the he is standing there.At the end he leave the stall standing oposite of the stall and waiting for us.^^

ps:It really funny!

All is girls just her brother is differ. Feel why he so patient when we choosing in one stall. Wish this life will be continous with myy different friend again. But I guesssssss it very hard.

2. I saw two LIANG ZAI in the pasar malam yesterday. Wao~~~ They are so hot!!!!!!!

Recently...

Recently I felt very tired. Is it because I cannot sleep well? Or I feel that I'm wasting my time to working here? I really feel sleepy, I do not know what will be going on after this month. I do not know am I ahead near to my dream?
Last weekend I went to my frend's house. I really had fun in that weekend. But sadly, I still not efford to treat my friend even one meal. I'm failure. Me and her bullshit a lot. However most of the time we did'nt talked so much because our GOOD SENSE does not needs any communication then we can understand each other. Is it? haha...I guess yes!
I break my promise. I promised her I'll go to her country in this year. But I can't. Right here I talked to myself in year 2012 I'll go Vietnam!!! I swear! By now, so sorry N.

ps:sleepy now...

Yesterday

Yesterday I was summited my resignation letter. This is first time I wrote in proper english's letter. ERM....My feeling: HEADACHE. Why??? Because I scare and I don't know how I ging to start my writing. I'm gave a broken reason for him. When I passed the letter for him, my boss just said: wao~so fast give me resign letter. So,which mean he can scan me I will leaving and cannot last long in his company. What can I said is He so smart.

Now before I leaving he more then enough to use me for helping him check comapny's account. Use all my energy. This is the part I DISLIKE very much! It must be very careful and use your mind so much! Then you needs to count. It is a heavy job! This is an accountant's job also, but is not mine! If I know you will asked me to checking all the account, then I would'nt let you know and help you checked your account before. Nvm this is experience, I told myself.

Bosses you are smart but you don't know how to keeps a good staff for your company. And you do not know how to catch a people heart and understanding. I wish you all the best in your business.

ps: prey for you.

Thinking....

First thing in my mind WHO AM I??? Not only you cannot understand me sometime I also don't know who am I. Sometime I know myself very well sometime I don't know at all. For example, passed few week I watched a Hong Kong drama<>. Why do I likes that drama so much? What does I likes it? I love it, first, I likes the styles and fesyen make up and dress up in that drama. I love the JAckies's character. It is similar with myself and I jealous she have the life like that even at the end,she choose to give up from her LOVE life. However, I know that she will do that. Because in her mind or plan don't have any step is planing for build up a home.

For me, I don't care about love for now.I admit I scare about love. Love will make you blind and crash your mind. Not everyone can accept two person live. Not everyone needs a home.Not every women needs guys. Not all guys needs women. Why do getting marry? Married just a paper provement for such person. You can married also can divorse.

I know I this is wrong. I don't know. Not less person said that: You are high requirement, I spainless to date with you. Why do you tell me that? I not give you change you need to create your chance for yourself. Is not you cannot reach my requirement is you do not understand what I needs. Is not you do not understand is you not that like me so you do not spend too much. Ask your heart. Am I correct? If you really likes someone sure you will find out that way to get that thing you really likes so much.

ps: If you really likes the thing so much you must try your best to get. Not for any prove just because DON'T let you regreting.

confusing

Be honest, I did like my current job. However, GOD bless me and now appear second chance for me. But I affear. I do not know this chance I should ake or should'nt take. Well, in this world not such thing is free lunch. Between I need to go there for interview that is a problem. I do not know that place and I totaly no idea what will be going on at that place. The living cost there is higher then my recent place.
I cheeck the map from the web, yet not showing me transportion is enter there. Except from personal car. Anywhere I need to go. This is my chance. I needs to take it. I think this is the challenge for me. I wish that job is better and I will get well in my job field.

ps: GAMBATEH!!!

一个字：闷！

很多人在读书的时候总是会想快点出来工作，以为可以得到解脱。可是，当你进入了社会大学才知道不期然。不是你所期待，你所想象的那样。本人现在的工作真的好无聊！好就好在我的办公室里只有我一个人。怀处在于，没有挑战。
那么辛苦读了比大马教育文凭高一级的书出来。竟然……我忽然觉得我有点浪费！真的！可是，我根本就身不由己。我没有选择的余地。我只能说机会错过了一次就没有了。

ps:希望我能挨过吧！

Updated

I started my new life. Is it happy for me? I think I know the answer. I do not know. I do not know what? Unfortunately a clear answer in my heart.I needs to feel sorrow or happy? Because I know my direction clearly. However, I cannot make it truth. I have been choosen this type of life just because a forcing energy come from outside.
I do not know I can stand on this life? Well I will try it. Wish to....

new life

Actually my new life make me speechless. WHY??? Because I have no choice. I'm always asking myself is it this is the life I wish to? A clear answer appear in my heart. I notice that. Well when you stand with me you will know life is forcing you become like something and yet you have to plays the role.

But so far, since I started my new life I been alone. Is it this is called independent? I not wish to...I miss my old life. This is not the types of live I want. Even seen so free but not free. I lost my freedom!

May be you will say that when I working I 'll lost freedom but...Well never mind!

ps::(

Good bye...

Good bye to my housemate! Even me with you guys together is not too long time however I'll cherish our memories together. We passed throught all the situations where were had angry, misery and so on...
Today I also shifted my thing into a new house. Well I know the condition is not good as well but I really got no ideas. Erm... now I just wishes that I can last long at least one years for this company! I not really want to always change job. It will make me very tiring!

ps: All the best.. BEWARE!!!

不想长大

我不想，我不想，不想长大……长大后世界就没有童话。我不想不想长大，我宁愿笨又傻。
虽说如此，可是我还是抵挡不了岁月的洗礼。我并不是傻，我只是不想再多想。
有时候我很痛恨我自己为什么我没有那种能力？上天给我的考验，我真的有办法完成吗？到现在我还是天真地想，凡事都会有自己的出路。对啊！这就是我一直以来坚持下去的理由。可能在别人眼中我就是很自私妄为；高傲的一个人。那么你是吗？你有我这种自信吗？

这个故事会令你怎么想？

有一天，我跟山说：我要搬下山去住。
山对我说：你等些日子吧！
我想了想，那好吧！过了些天……
山：你可以搬了。
我：好的。
靠山山会倒，靠水水会流。靠不住。可是，笨笨的我却选择靠山和水。
心灰……意冷……算了吧！是你们把我训练的那么独立。那么我也只好接受了。我不会再开口说什么了。我有手有脚。我知道了。

lovely day 朴信惠 是美男啊

I love this song so much and another is ANjell-Promises... Nice song....

Superwomen

I not your superwomen. I'm not a superwomen. But I wishes I am... You shoould know why I wanna be... In the family I am the elder, everything I need to settle to myself. I do not know so many thing but I try to get those information. Sometime I feel tired, I asked myself, why I am the older? Why? Why??? And Why???

I know I am not smart...
I know I am not effort...
I know I am not mature...
I know I am not strong enough...
I know... I know... I know...
I know I am not in the movement...
I know I am not in the time...
I know I am not confidence...
I know... I know... I know everyting about this...

ps: Don't tie me up... Let me go... even I am fall down in the half way, even I got danger outside... please let me... If you don't let me... i think forever I be naive.....

My mood....

When I see you smile, I feel happy.

When I see you sad, my mood go down and down.

When I miss you, I refresh our memory [ even it is passed,not going to happen anymore ]

When I need you, but you not beside of me.

However, when I know you are sick, I would ask: Hey, how are you..(touch your forehead) and say take care yourself...

When I forget you, sorry...i know this is not in the time.

When I am alone, I wishes you are beside of me. [ sadly, you are not ]

When I look at your serious face, I know what i'll do...

When I got problem, you know how to settle it to me.[ thank you ]

I want to know, when you know I am sick...Do you feel pain for me?

I want to know, when I say I want to for a movie.. Do you wanna go out with me?

I want to know, when I write something... Do you having some of the question in your mind?

I want to know, What are your feeling to me?

I want to know, do you remember me?

I want to know... What do you think???

QUESTION: Why I feel like this? I do want to admit that...I fall to you...

ps: I know you are not mind... LET GO!!!

I am who I am

I'm not that stubborn but I have planing to myself.

I'm not that smart but does'nt means that I don't understand your mind.

I'm not that rich but I now happy for my life.

I'm not that pretty but I think I am different from???

I'm not that cruel but I try my best be nice with you.

I'm not that much of admirer but does'nt means that I don't have.

I'm not that much of lover but does'nt means I don't have.

I'm not that happy but sometimes I need protection from you.

I'm not that good but I will try to read you.

I'm not that bad but did you ever try it???

I'm not that independent but I try my best be independent.

I'm not that talkertive but when I with you guys I become talkertive.

I'm not that hard purpose to but not that easy unless you use the correct way.

I'm not that hard to understand but if you use your heart to read me, you will know what I needs, What I means and What I thinking of...

ps: I am who I am... I am simple but not that simple...I like to be myself... not like the other...

Notice me please!!

I hate those people want to borrow thing from me but not ask me. Why you took my thing and not inform me? Did you know, since you took the thing from my room and without notice me I can sue you? I not selfish but at least don't make me find hard the thing. I really angry! I thinking all the time where I put the thing then suddenly you tell me you take it. Impolite!!! Impolite!!!!

有借有还，再借不难！王八蛋！臭鸡蛋！难道那我的东西就不能告诉我吗？you are not the first time to do this!!! How many chance i need to give you? I keep quite then you treat me like idiot! Is it? Is it fun? So disappointing of you and pity you! YOU DO NOT know me well!!!

ps: I hate the people like this!!! JAK SITE lah!!

BEH TAHAN LIAO!!!!

Cannot teach your dad or mom know computer unless your house can produce more computer. Every night, he came back early because ask me stand up don't let me online. I cannot msn, I cannot facebook. If can I only for few minutes enjoy only. Even my HOTEL CITY on facebook also cannot play. Now almost bankrupt already! T.T

Some more he ask me download more similar game for him. 我才不要！！！！

Plus, recently damn bad luck! First, getting flu and second is cough! After that become fever and now coughing + sore throat!!! Shit! Too free that why sick? Sick also get curse! Haiz~ a bit of regret that decision I made. I suppose to starting early then I no need to suffer here at home! Well... I beh tahan laio~~~~~~~~~

ps: next day, I need to bring back my laptop jor. So lazy~~

你看见的是真的吗？

我很好奇，你们时常说：是我亲眼看见的。。。
其实你亲眼看见的是真的吗？对的吗？有时候你的眼睛也不一定是真的。我希望我看到的不是真的。可是往往会有很多人误会。尤其，被好朋友误会。我选择单身的理由》自由。可是，好朋友们都误会我是他们的第三者，难道你们就这么对你们的感情没有信心？我有时候觉得真的很无辜。我不跟你们的伴侣说话，你们说我高傲。跟你们的伴侣说话，就说我跟你的伴侣有路。唉~ 算了吧！
嘴巴长在别人的身上。
最近被我的朋友冷嘲乐讽，叫我快点去找个伴，我想啊！可是，我没有啊！哈哈……算了吧！这些都是要看缘分吧！随缘吧！

无奈

Tell you guys a story

A father always scold his sons: Why always seat in front of the computer? Go to do another thing.

His sons: ==[ Again]

After he scolding, he will go out until 11pm then only he back home.

ONE　ＤＡＹ．．．

Father: Girl, what you play?

Daughter: Play Majong {computer game}

Father: How to play?

The girl stand up and let her father sit...

Daughter: You just need to click this and make a pair then you just score

Father: ok...

Since the day, her father teach him play his FAVORITE game, every night he come back early and forcibly occupy the computer for him playing the game.

So....

ps: The moral of the story is: Don't ever let your father or mother know computer.

SICK

Long time i not getting sick. This time sick make me feel like I living in the hell. Cannot sleep. This all need to thank for my second 'son' and my sister! Tomorrow, everything will be settle. I just need to worry and please my dad help me shift the thing only. Starting my new life.

Well I do not know what my life going to be, I just notice and wish that I can last long more than 3 month. I also do not know this decision is correct or wrong. However I need to take this risk.

ps: Wish me all the best...^^v

Sharing with you...

Today, I'm tired. Is it the reason I am getting old? haha... I do not know. However, I really enjoy the life like this.

此刻打盹，你将做梦；
此刻学习，你将圆梦；

觉得为时已晚的时候，恰恰就是最早的时候。

勿将今日之事拖到明日。

学习时的痛苦是暂时的，未学到的痛苦是终生的。

学习这件事不是缺乏时间而是缺乏努力。

学习并不是人生的一部分，但，既然连人生的一部分学习都无法征服，还能做些什么呢？

请享受无法回避的痛苦。

只有比别人起的更早、更勤奋，才能尝到成功的滋味。

谁也不能随随便便的成功，它来自于彻底的自我管理和毅力。

今天不走，明天要跑。

投资未来的人是忠于现实的人。

时间在流逝。

教育程度代表收入。

即使现在对手也不停的翻书页。

没有艰辛，便无所获。

ps: I know my life is controling by my self... but if i lost the line? How I going to catch up again? A kite why can fly so high? Why drop down? Is it similar to my life?

Well....I need to face it..

Erm...Next week is the last week for me look for my HANDSOME in BM class. I feel... why the class so short? He is the only energy i going to class. Well, i not like him but he is attracting me want to talk to him. Haha... feeling happy is few day ago, he was talked to me and sit beside of me. ^^ He know spoke chinese also. haha... so happy. We were exchanged our essay. I read his essay... haha...I think he really just came back from overseas. But he came late and go back early because his school got some event. So sad. I want to talked more with him.But I cannot find some topic also. Too bad. Ya, I admit that, I failed again.Well does not a matter. I wish this weekend he will come for class. I really want to become more friend with him. I want to read him. ^^v

ps: Wish me all the best.^^v

Today's Story

Well, I am lifeless person. But I am a story people. I wirte my ownlife. Eveyday something happened on me I will note down here no matter i use chinese or english. The rules you reading my blog is, no need to formal because i think you guys dont know what i write. Especially in english. But I think most of you will know what is my mood, if you are understand me.

Today, I meet my friend. This is the first meet after 5 years. We talk a lot. The funny thing is when I saw his face then only i remember him. We are talk a lot. We go watched movie. I also get some news from him about my high school's classmate. WAO~~ they are so powerful. 4 of them....
Ya, may be you will think that i forget people face easily why i still go out with him. Emm..... actualy you can believe me. Because i not only friend with the person just because of some reason. I will use my sense to 'scan' the person. Inside my eyes, be my friend no money, no standard. What i looking for is . If the people make me want to make friends with him then i will. Want to take believe on me, then you need to believe me.
I think you will said I HIGH NOSE. Unfortunately, please forgive me. Because that is me.Why I have more friend is more then 7 or 8 years? Because i know, I understand them. I like them so that i with them around 10 years. Even between sometime we are argue but yet we still together.

ps: Long time no socialize like this, now only i starting contact them. Need to! Suppose to!

溫拿樂隊 - L.O.V.E. Love

This song is nice...let us go back to the passed...juz for a movement..^^

两年[part two]

semester 5[long sem]:
来到这个学期已经是我学院生涯的第二年。在这个学期我第一次尝试了失败。怎么说呢？其实，在我身边的都知道，中学时期马马虎虎的度过，不然就吵架以及大家的度过。可是，当你好不容易到了一个有能力让你学习更多的机会，而你也下定决心认真读书的时候，忽然来了一个晴天霹雳的失败。你能想象那种感觉吗？我以为只有政府才那么极端化。可是，我没有想到原来，私人化的更严重。在这个学期里，孤僻的我学会了如何带面具，做人。很简单。我失败的原因是因为那个老师看我不顺眼。你们应该是向这是我失败的借口。我举个例子：有些人没有来上课，assignment不及格，
期中考也不及格[分数差很多]，可是，你们想想，为什么那个人会及格呢？而我什么都及格，为什么我要去resit 呢？哈哈……

semester 6[short sem]:
读的时间越长代表着你的课程越来越深。如果没有记错这个学期是我拿AE2[acedemic english]的一个学期。在这个学期，我们是被训练得。以前只要站在大家面前我不敢说话，不想说话。可是，透过这个科目，我学会了。我习惯站在大家面前表现自己。也是在这个学期，让我了解原来不需要太认真当你面对某些人，也让我学会不要把感情放得太重。你要懂得如何衡量一个人。每个人都有一定的利用价值的存在。除此之外，在这个学期，也是我很压力的一个学期。可以说,到这里读书，我流了不少的泪。为什么？因为我对自己开始有了要求。这个学期，我很讨厌。因为被老师‘欺负’。那时，我真的很不得把那位自以为是的老师给干掉！可是，我不行，因为我知道我还没有那种能力。不过没关系，我很感谢他也很讨厌他。

semester 7[special semester]：
到了，最后的第二个学期，这是一个超级短的一个学期。只有一个多月的时间而已。同时也遇到一个超级严格的老师。我拿的课程是diploma可是她的marking is degree level.当然，她都这样做是很有挑战性，可是，同时也意味着我的步伐逼向失败。这个学期我学尝试到了第二次的失败感。这个不能怪任何人，只能怪自己的无能……吾能达到老师的要求。或许你们会问我，结局是什么？结局就是‘那个’咯！还有什么？继续努力。

semester 8[last sem;long sem]
这个学期就是我现在的学期。一次过拿六科。嗯……还蛮担心的。成绩还没有出炉。希望一切相安无事。不过这个学期里，除了认识了像N这样可以混得比较久的朋友外，我还认识了一个，原来是同病相怜的朋友。

后记：这两年里，我学到的不知是在课业上的东西。可能是我敏感吧！business department的人真的很…………有人问过我：你学到了什么？我的回答我不知道。可是，我现在可以告诉你，我学到最多的是如何处世待人，和别人相处。不过对于我的朋友及家人，就算会被射得遍体鳞伤，我也不会戴上那个面具。因为，我相信他们能够了解。

两年

我想有人会好奇，羡慕……为什么家境没有什么富裕的我选择读这所学校？其实，在这儿之前，我在一间中小型的公司里工作。有一天，遇到老外……呵呵，听不是很懂，说不出口。所以，那时候还在考虑要不要继续升学的我决定了，继续。过后，拜托的我表哥，表姐，询问意见。[其实那时候我心里已经有数了。]还记得，我的表哥跟我说：为什么不拿foundation直接degree。其实，他并不了解，我的生活环境。我有我的考量。最终，我还是选择了我的计划。
这所我就读的学校没有人带我来找。老爸没空，老妈不会路，弟妹们都读书。我就只好硬着头皮跟我的一位死党到处碰钉子。这所学校我是怎么找到的？哈哈……上网找到到这儿的方法。然后我们就到了。问了我要的课程[有两个选择：第一；法律（可是，最后考虑到英文不好，就放弃了）]我先在就读的事我的第二选择：business administration.这个科目是什么‘垃圾’都有学。任何关于商业的东西都有。[偷偷告诉你：其实哪个人介绍的时候我没有用心听也没有用心知道姬以及了解……赫赫]。就这样，第二次我的阿姨帮我搬东西来，就这样我就在这里开始了我的两年四个月的生活。

semester 1（short sem） :
不会听，不会讲，也害羞，所以选择不说话。这是我最痛苦的一次。其实，我之前的生活没有离开过家里。以前在念中学时候我总是向往自由的生活，我总想：如果我能脱离父母的管制那该多好？如果我能有勇气离家出走那该多好？[其实，那时候，我的父母好严。不让我出街，而家里也时常发生状况。]可是，我到了这里才发现我的想法一半是对的，一半是错的。
在这里，妈妈认为我是‘山芭老’出城，所以老是给我打电话。不过我知道，她只是担心我不习惯而已。同时，我一直都认为我是很坚强的。可是，当我接到第一通电话的时候，我好想哭。原来是这种感觉啊？可是，我却忍下了那第一滴泪。
毫无预警的我的阿姨也时常来找我。买东西给我。感觉我好想还小，很可怜。
第一次接触到全部都是abc头好痛。完全看不懂。老师上课时在梦游。哈哈……可是，到最后不知道为什么还是能及格。

semester 2(long sem):
不懂什么是交际。同学们很快就融在一起。而我却选择跟越南朋友在一起。[我就是不喜欢多人的时候，感觉很吵]我有点脱离他们的进度，原因我不知道怎么跟他们沟通。我还不了解他们。我说话的方式很直接，我不喜欢就是不喜欢。如果那个人给我第一感觉很差的话，那么我就很少跟哪个人很少来往。的确很抱歉。第二学期，也是我传绯闻的一个学期。嗯……其实我很好奇，为什么我会被人家说呢？我跟那位同学真的没有什么。我不喜欢他啊！我们只是随便聊聊，一起走路回家是因为同一个方向。这么一闹，朋友没了一个。

semester 3(short sem):
这个学期应该是最轻松的吧？因为对英文的认知都比较深了。会听，会反驳。也学会了wtf[what the fuck].这是第一句我会的。哈哈……然后，我就与我的同学们一起出去。之后就知道这里地形。很快的，了解了。知道方向了。后来就时常出去吃东西，看电影。这是我们在没有课的时候会做的事情。

semester4(long sem)：
这个学期的课业比较难，所以开始很少跟他们一起出去哈拉了。况且那时候他们也开始四分五裂了吧？而我却跟我的那位越南同学越来越‘相依为命’。你问我说为什么我和她可以维持那么久的友谊？老实告诉你很简单因为我们没有沟通，我们初相识的时候，她说不准，我听不懂。到了这个学期我们才把英文训练好啊！可能你们会好奇，这样也能长久？你们怎么沟通？很简单。只要你用心了解那个人，就算不说话，你也会知道她在想什么。只要一个眼神，一个动作。
这个学期也是我们走的很近的一个学期。在人家的严厉可能我是因为对方有钱所以才与她那么近。什么嘛？你有钱你家的事，不要侮辱了我！那时你家的钱，又不是你的。可是，很谢谢她。我知道了很多东西，尤其是关于marketing的东西。是她不嫌弃我从乡下出来的小姑娘，带我到处走。让我知道老师在教室里所常常提到的一些很出名的店，可是我却不懂的店。她并没有嘲笑我。真的很谢谢她。

Well~~~ Speechless

This morning my mom buy a food for me. Wake in the 'early' morning and had a breakfast. I not having the habit take breakfast. Well~~ after I ate... sensitive... painful... I wondering why my stomach so powerful until can differentiate which food it need to reject. I think this food is from the other shop and my stomach reject it! DAMN it!!! I hate!

ps: How to explain? Nothing I can explain...

McD' Cups...

I not really likes to eat McD. But sometime I got no choice... So force me go eat. However McD so smart, they create some attractive and attract more consumer go eat McD. I am one of them. Due to FIFA fiver, McD came out collection of the Worlds Cups. Well I know there are nothing special for the cup but I like. It attracting me...^^ Unfortunately, I still failed to collected it... sad...I own one colour...

Diarry[ Chapterxxx]

Erm...just now become a counselor for a little girl. I never though my second brother very attractive until the girl come and tell him: Can I couple up with you. Just give me a try to couple up. Wao~~ So dare. But now I feel sad and sorry. Because I talk to her, haiz... My brother not that liang zai, no that smart...except from sport. Well may be when he played basketball or the other sports that is the way let him to attracting girl...阳光型男孩。

The girl... Whatever.

ps: so sorry. I rejected you...

Diary[ Chapterxxx]

Today, gastrick badly. Long time no gastrick like this already. May be this is cause by genes generation? What am I talking about now? Ya. Continous. Today, when I ate also feel very hard because it cannot work. Make me suffered.

ps: PAINFUL!!!!!!!

Me-- stubborn

Me? Did you understand yourself? How much you know yourself? You ask me, wether I know myself well? My answer will be...

Me-- stubborn
Me-- like to make desicion myself
Me-- look strong but......
Me-- don't like people do some desicion for me, you can give me suggestion and your opinion but you cannot over my bottom line and control my life.
Me-- hate the people like......
Me-- whatever
Me-- attenttion to the thing I very mind
Me-- don't like people not serious when come into serious time.
Me-- like to play
Me-- like freedom
Me-- like dream
Me-- like sweet
Me-- challenging
Me-- planing
Me-- move a step toward the direction
Me-- will be success????

ps:No matter how... I will try my best. Make my success come true.... Not giving up easily!!!

After exam

I think most of you after exam will enjoy your beautiful holiday. However for me, I still having some assignment that needs to finishing by end of this month. All my friends prepare go to degree. Some of them go to Australia and study. For me?? Well... Whatever, I think I should follow my plan....
Or I needs to think a new plan? argh.....

ps: ask your heart, you already have an answer inside yours heart. is it???

给你的一封信

里面的含义……实在有意义。

在屋顶飘着竹叶的寺里，
住着一个因失恋而孤单的人，失恋而孤单的人，
他总是说天没什么大
为什么在天上跑的不是车子
他把李子树砍到了
也把池子里的水放掉了
不久他突然明白，让他忧愁的不是落叶之秋
只因为他真是二十多一点的年纪
怀着一颗青涩的心
只希望回到原来倾心的那一刻

hints:每个句子代表不一样的单词。好好领悟呗！^^
[猜不到答案msn我]

故事 [气闻]

一个女生，挑灯到深夜，为了使考取状元。途中，一只‘鬼’敲女孩的msn。

鬼：你温习到怎样了？
女孩：还在温习。
鬼：不是今天考吗？[已经凌晨十二点多了。]
女孩：是的。[等下早上十点]
鬼：在这之间，你可以帮我做 moral assignment吗？
[王八蛋！臭鸡蛋！鬼自己不会做？是鬼自己霸着来做的。女孩和鬼之前说好的承诺，是鬼自己破坏在先。毁约！现在，鬼完成了她的考试，没有考试了，鬼轻松了，当然鬼可以自己做！鬼要女孩帮忙的话，鬼可以等到女孩有空吗？一定要现在？]
鬼：噢，对了，你可以把你的答案透过msn传给我。谢谢。
女孩：ok！[睬你都傻]
鬼：噢，对了。如果你的roomate在你也可以问她我们的survey问题。
女孩：ok！[人家睡觉了。小姐，现在几点了？人家很健康的。]
鬼：你完成了吗？我完成了。不好意思，造成你的麻烦！
[你知道你很烦就好！]
女孩：我考完试后在做给你。[很好！面具人]
鬼：你还在吗？

女孩不想再理那只鬼了！没有回她了。女孩当时真的很气！因为女孩自己负责两份assignment，可是，组员们都没有出手相救。现在要帮忙，就来找女孩。而且还是在非常时刻！将心比心，若果别人在你很忙的时候或者拥有无形的巨大的压力时候这样来对你说，你们的心情又是什么？

ps：那只鬼，拜托你，不要那么自私！用用你的脑！人家的比较严重和紧急！你的还有时间！而且你有人帮忙！你只是拿别的来抄或者修改一下那就行了！而你又想过那个女孩的状况吗？自私的人类！！！！！！不要逼我把你给宰了！！！！！！！

难

爱一个人难，守护一个人更难。
喜欢一个人难，维持一段感情更难。
受伤难，痊愈更加难。
跌到难，从新站起来更难。
恋爱难，谈情更难。
说爱你不难，真心爱你更加难。

开始难，经营更加难。
创业难，守业更加难。
放手难，忘记更加难。
学习难，达标更加难。
学科难，选择更加难。
退后难，前进更加难。
放弃难，坚持更加难。
忍耐难，接受更加难。
梦境难，现实更加难。
情绪难，管理更加难。
考试难，读书更加难。
写字难，记忆更加难。
创新难，思维更加难。
守候难，等待更加难。
迷路难，没有方向更加难。

ps：难；又怎样？

Sore throat

How can I get my sore throat suddently? Oh, My god! Suffering!!! Damn painfull. Inside my body also very hot. The hot cannot come out. Damn It!!! I hate it!!! The most important exam is coming soon. This subject is me consider much also. So stress up!!!

This is the only subject make me take the risks;
This is the only subject make me consider about;
This is the only subject make me much more headaches;
This is the only one....
I like the challenging even i know I'll upsad and fall down when i know I fail in this challenged.

However, I still need to stand up. If I really failed this subject again, then I not take the certificate anymore. I need a break. Give up from this.

ps: Yet, still need to 战胜最后一秒。

Diary[ Chapterxxx]

Law exam really break my hand. Few essay is very long. I wondering after I make a short cut way but yet need to write two pages. 2hours 30 minutes. 4 essays + 30 MCQ. Is it enough time? I dont think so . Even it is open book exam but if you are not prepare then you still will fail the paper i think. You don't have time to find the answer from the book or note.

Yesterday, I have the green colour McD cup. So happy. But the person who take the cup for me looks tired. Worse then me. I got the reason I study for exam. But why... he in holiday mood ma, still tired like that.[ May be he busy date with the other, haha...kidding]. Anywhere, thank for him give me the cup. However i still lack one colour.美中不足。

ps：Thank for your cup...^^

New Housemate

Today got new housemate. She come from Iraq. Beautiful eye and looks cute. However, I feel like i gone back to last time when I first listen to foreigner speak english. I need to filterlization the words she said few time then only I understand her.

Ya, I admit. My english is not that well but basic english I know. Erm... never mind. I think I dont have the chance have much interact with her. Oh ya, she taking Degree in Engineering. Why people around me almost is taking engineering? It is hot course now? Honest to say, lucky i not studying engineering. haha....

Recently really busy... Money and Banking coming soon. Another day insomnia.

BM examination

Today I have bm exam. Erm... not that bad. Because s open. But does not make difference because open still dont know the question talk about and hard to find out answer from the note. Well, finally done this stupid exam.

Now I still leave two subject need to go through. One is Company Law[copy paste exam]. Dont ever think that copy paste is easy because when you start to write then you will know. There are many teories even the lecturer provided answer and question also. Feel no challenge for this exam.

Another exam is Money and Banking. It not hard but for me it is killing me. I need to work hard more and more praticing my essay part. She is expecting us to write like degree level. She tell us this is preparation for ou go up to degree. Well, spechless. You are lecturer. If this time fail then I prepare transfer to Penang campus. Hehe... If go the fail again... Then no need graduate loh... Straight away change course.haha...

ps: Make a wish... Pass enough

GONE

I think my exam gone. My result gone. The paper was so harded. Even how I read and study before and memoried eveything i still cannot answer. May be you will think that, why not try to find some hint from multiple choices? Ya I did. But nothing related to the question. 4 essays just can answer 1/2 what you think about my result? haiz~
After finished my HRM exam i losse all my energy. Because I did'nt eat. Feel so weak. I have a habit, before exam I cannot eat anything if not some bad affect will effects on me. I think I cannot sleep and eat until I got my result. However, what happen when I finished my HRM exam? I need to take shuttle bus come here. Yet, some of impolite people... What? I know you are shorter then me, stronger then me, noise then me, darker then me, big size then me... but, yet! can you be polite a bit? Why you... When I came back here is almost 640. Damn tired. [Next day got business statistic which mean today]
Then go for dinner with my cousins and autie. I was so tired so I did eat much and no mood to talk also yet dont know what they said. After came back slept for 2 hour then wake up continous study for business statistic. Started from 12 in the midnight until 6 in the morning. Jin Hui was study with me during the first three hour.
After discussion I found out my assignment got some mistake is due to my careless. Can I tell the lecturer give me a chance to correct it?haha.... In dream.

ps: It my life. Be prepare something will be, might be happen in the future.

Diary[ Chapterxxx]

Yesterday, I with my housemate went to 1U to had my dinner. Actualy, I will go there just because of I promised her company her cut her hair. So I company her no matter how I am tired. After that, we pass by this shop...^^ Both of us greedy, we bought 6. At the end we ate so full. But really nice. I wish I can bring all friend go there and having together. But I know if I going with someone who don't like sweet then... make me disappointed.=.=!!

However, after we came back we do something bad? Erm.. not that bad lah... just play play only.haha... My housemate suggest me tag baby[my old housemate] and let her jealous. Ya~ I did. She reaction so big.. haha..But just make fun... those people are funny can make me temporary forget the stress and unhappyness. ^^

When we on the way back home... I saw my lovely shirt again... Argh!!!!! Why I dont have money?? Wuwuwu... I can see but i cannot buy. May be you will think that this is a normal T-shirt and nothing special... but... I don't know why it really attracting me. The first seen... Why my insight so... haiz! Why you let me see you again? But if I have money I think I also will consider again and again... It really... haiz... T.T

ps: RM339.00... I want go buy loteri...lol... then use the money go buy this t-shirt...

haha... dream...ZZZzzz

其实我好想对你说

其实我好想对你说：请你不要拖着我的脚步
其实我好想对你说：请你不要浪费我的时间[我不是你的男友，我没有必要对你做那种事，可是……愚笨的我，总是帮了你，而你却不懂得珍惜]
其实我好想对你说：你是时候改改你的脾气了吧？[因为，我想除了我之外没有人再有那么忍耐着你了吧？]
其实我好想对你说：我不是你的肉垫[当你打我的时候，我也会痛，所以我选择默默地承受然后离开。而我，也不喜欢打人。]
其实我好想对你说：我是用真心把你当成我的朋友。
其实我好想对你说：不是我不要告诉你，是因为你没有给我机会告诉你。
其实我好想对你说：为什么我会突然不说话，那是因为我不想对你说出会伤害到你的话。
其实我好想对你说：为什么我总是会对别人笑，而面对你时，却很认真？[那是因为你不是我开玩笑的对象]
其实我好想对你说：除了你之外，你有没有发觉我对我学校的朋友说话时，我总是很轻松自在?笑容也特别的灿烂？[请问你跟我在一起两年了，你有见过我对你那样笑过吗？]
其实我好想对你说：你可以自己独立吗？[两个星期后我们就要面对离别]
其实我好想对你说：谢谢你，这两年教会了我不少东西。[虽然大部分的时候，我们都在生闷气，而我总是在忍耐]
其实我好想对你说：再见了。我的两年的同伴。我不会忘记你。

ps:其实我好想对你说，虽然我有时候很无奈，很生气你，可是，我还是谢谢你让我懂了不少，同时也帮了我不少。谢谢。

Tired

Recently I really tired. No matter from pysical or any other... Actually I still thinking what am I suppose to do after 15th July. After that I just leave MPW subject only. So boring. I should not waste my time right? i need to get a job as soon as possible is it?
Be honest, Money and Banking really killing me now. I really scare.I think you guys will scord me why you wasting your time sitting here thinking those thing which are no need to think about. Actualy, I dont know. That is one part of my life and I need to go through. Similar with i dont know how to cross the trouble but I have to be brave.
I want to study in high standard of ccollege, but I think I cannot. haha... Impossible for me. Give up! Go to get a job...


ps:Sometime i really wish that have a shoulder borrow me. Even a minute also enough for me.
************************************************************************************
Recently, one of the guy in the new friends's list who are like to talk always talk to me, make my lovely housemate started make fun of me. When they talk I dont really understand what they say so that I just keep quite. But this brother talk to me... Yet in my mind smile is polite way to treating a people. Due to he talked was funny and both of us laugh. Therefore I think this is the main reason for them misunderstood. But dont care, this types of life i go through so many time. As normal...

ps: speechless
************************************************************************************
Today, i shocked bacause one of my friend like to eat McD then I do not know. But is not fault because we are seldom to talk. He always busy to his staff and me recently also busy, tired. However, when I talk to him today, i am happy because he got the McD cup... Yeah~ I can continous collecting. But I feel disappointed also because he just got one of the colour that I missing. Still lack of one. No more complete...

ps: Thank for you...

New friends...

Yesterday, I totaly don't know how to do. And I study the assignment until 3 o'clock in the morning. Right here, I thank for my lao po. She helped me even she not taking the same subject with me. She taken past year. Is she sit down and helped me. I swear, I really appreaciate it. Today, in the morning when i on the way to summit the assignment , Jin Hui text me and borrow my assignment.

ps: LAO PO, thank you very much...
********************************************************************************

Today's story. Erm... nothing special happened. Just some of the staff... Oh ya, i knew new friends. Those are funny and are noisy?? Ha ha, never mind, i just happy because i made new friends and i long time don't have the feeling like this. They like to talk a lot but all is funny thing.
one of them asked me: Did you have boy friend?
me: What you think?
he: have.. don't have...
me: ^^
he: dont have...[ the other two started to discuss whether i got boy friend]
me: ya, you are right. I don't have.

I just wonder why people always ask me got boy friend or not? And they are so supprise i don't have. Then the time i just give some rubbish reason.

ps: Still waiting for someone find the heart key to open the heart lock. ^^

L.O.V.E

受过伤的人通常都会说：忘记。可是，你们有发现么？忘记比不忘记还要痛苦。再说你真的忘得了？放得下吗？时间只会冲淡一切，不会让你忘记的。就算有一天，你突然失去记忆了，可是，我相信当你恢复记忆的那一刻，你会记得。那时你会更加的痛苦吧！每个人都会有不愉快的记忆，不愉快的记忆就把它当作受伤后的药，愉快地记忆就把它当成甜点。
如果，那个男生是喜欢你，那么他就不怕别人会嘲笑你的弱点。在他眼里，你是最完美的。如果，他因为别人的冷言冷语而放弃珍惜你，那么放手吧！你有你的骄傲。如果那个男生只是利用你，那么你要继续吗？你可以忍受到什么程度？
喜欢一个人很容易，可是，放下却很难。爱上一个人很容易，可是，摩擦记忆却很难。想念一个人很容易，可是，控制自己的想念却难。

为什么不要尝试放开呢？有空拿出来回味。虽然，那味道已经变质。
为什么总是为了这些事情苦恼呢?
为什么总是选择忘记？比自己不要记得那些记忆呢？
别忘记，是你在写你的人生，它是你生活的一部分。


ps:不要尝试忘记，因为你会很痛苦。

IF

If I not choosen study in KDU...
ans: working

If I not continous my Degree...
ans: regret

If I continous within two years time...
ans: harder

If I change the course...
ans: become more harder for me...

If I study for Law...
ans: 苦尽甘来

If I have change go back passed...
ans: I not regret

If ask me choose again...
ans: Diploma in Business Administration


If I am sucessful to make my dream come true...
ans: happy

If I failed to make my dream...
ans: no direction

If I no direction...
ans: TANJUNG RAMBUTAN ROOM 314

If I got money...
ans: Build up my own business

If my life black and white...
ans: no meaningful

If I got a pair of wings...
ans: flying

If I got BEST FRIEND...
ans: in sweet??? In bitter...

If I not you...
ans: I am who I am



ps: If...if... when can make it truth???

No mood// scare

No modd, no mood, no mood... I really no mood. I feel stress, i feel saad and i feel tired. Yesterday I slept around 12 in the midle of the night but i woke at 4 o'clock in the morning. I do not know why... When I close my eyes I sleep well,but... This trouble long time never happened to me already. But it have been happen always.
Beside, I also feel so emo, I suddenly feel ike don't want to talk and escape from people. Am I crazy??? Now I just feel like I want skip away from here. But I know I got no one bring me run away except myself. Run away from a place need to have big brave and money. Those thing are I don't have.
Always someone told me, now the thing I own is not mine. The thing you want go to get by yourself. Yeah~ I trying hard now. The way become sucessful in my life. Although now I not yet know what my life going to be, but the paople who control my life is not someone else is me.
A writer when holding his pen they can write a good story. The pen is on their hand. ending of the story happiness or sadness is depend on the holder. I am holding the pen, due to I want to write my life become colourful.

ps: I not the types of person easily to fall down and failing down. Sometime, I just need time to stand me up again.
*********************************************************************
Today, I went out from student house. I relize that the gate was opened big big as normal. Beside that, don't know whose came in the house and smoked in the hall and when the people went out but not locked the door[ include the wood door]. And the time, I was alone at home. And I dont know who is that.
DANGEROUS!!!!
Recently, because once of my housemate is doing Degree in Engineering and they have group assignment, then they do it here.But I not mind. However, why they keep not lock the door? If I not here, is it they just left it open like this? In this house, almost each one have own laptop. This never mind, if SOMETHING happen then who gonna to take the responsible?

ps: I told my 'housemate' many time locked the door, why she so stubbron??
**********************************************************************
A movement ago, I feel SOMETHING. However i thinking this house's history going to happen again. Not that scare because i normal for this. ^^

ps: want to know what that?? Ask me personality. ^^

Diary[Chapter thankkk]

Today, talked with my roomate. Remind me a lot of our history. I been this old house 2 years almost. A lot of thing was happened. First came here, I don't know everything. Don't know how to communicate with english. Because when I first came here everyone is out the races. So I just know how to tears. However this trained me growth up. Yet, me is me.^^ One is is communication problem one side is study problem.
I remember, I was get in trouble when in the college. Those people bully me and scored me. I understand but dont know how to scord back. Revenge! After half of years. Be independent, no one help me. But lucky is, I still have one friend and one of my cousin. I pity him, because ever time I in trouble, he is the only one cousin know that. Ya, I am 犯贱。haha... So what? I just kow that if someone reproach you that is a happiness. If the person not care of you they won't tell you. And forever you would not know what you are wrong and they think.
In KDU, a lot of thing was happened. My live in KDU... Erm... Whatever, I finishing my course. But I am lucky, I got one friend whose is close to me. Even she is come from Vietnam, even most of the time we are fight. But the next day... we are find. She is help me a lot a lot in college. I cherish this friendship.
Another is recently we close to each other. She become my wife haha... Because we are have the same thinking way. I like her. She also help me.
The other is my cousin's close friend. He help me fixed the computer until all my housemate remember him and keep asking me about him. Actually I don't know much about him. But my sense tell me,he is...^^ He is my friend also.

ps: I appreaciate those memories...

Old friends...

Friends... this list is random...

Yun, she is stubborn in some of the time. She almost same size with me but shorter then me a bit.

Shita, she is small size like litte. Most of the time people think that she is little girl.

Wen, she almost same size with shita. But this girl small size but like to pretend like adult.

Yee, she is attractive. But she in a relationship. Sad sad..

Gor gor, he is my gor gor becaause we are born in the same year, month and day... He some time sayang of me but some time make me angry!

Shark, he always look for liang lui... Recently until he post his phone number on his wall. [Sharky, no need to worry you dont have girl friend...]

Ming, he is my friend's brother. He is the one always keep quite in the gang.

oh ya...got one more..

Sotong, he is the most duo shou duo jiao one. [ because he is sotong]. Actualy, the whole gang like to bully him...No him no fun..haha..

Me? Me is the most insense in the group. In the group I no need to care about too much. I can talk whatever I want. When they were unhappy to what I said then they just hit me or either steared at me. Then we just pretend like movie actor..haha... However, we know... we know that we are joking most of the time. And we know what going around between us. This relationship almost 10 years. I wish that we are still keep in touch no matter what happen.

I remember that when I am in the trouble the first people who stand beside of me is them. I stil remember during secondary, we were fighting together. The only reason is no let the other to bully us. That why until now got no boy friend... haha...

Ya, those are our memories.. a lot a lot... the thing we did..uncountable...

But recently we are loose our happyness. May be everyone look for seperate way. Feel so sad becaause have some trouble in our relationship... Hmmm

I cherish our memories together...

ps: I not trust my friend. But, honestly to tell you guys, I am choosy and I choosing. 你们是我选中的朋友。所以无论你是贫穷，聪明，能干，勤劳，懒惰等等……you are still my friends. Because I believe on myself.我相信我的眼光。

Tired

I am very tired right now. BM is really killing my energy and using a lot of my brian' cells. But what else I can do? This is my job. I just need to take best in my job, no matter outside is war. I need to, really to thank for my friend, Yun. Because she help me a lot. And my ' lao po' really thank for you guys. And the other try to help me up. Thank you. I really appreciate it.

Shiney: Yun, thank you. Don't feel that I am so fan. Because except from thank you, I really don't know what to tell you. Thank for help me in the assignment. I know your brain cells almost die due to how to make the BM sentence for me and write it down. Until you get Gastric. Take care.

Since waiting for her writing the essay I am study for the other subject and thinking another ideas can provided to her. Idea a lot but how to call in BM? Don't know.

Yun: Selain daripada it, have the other word or not? Which is same meaning one.

Shiney: Beside that...

Yun: This is english.

Shiney: Misalnya... [ busying find phone list...few second, lao po]

Lao po; Seterusnya, sebahagiannya...

Shiney: Thank you, lao po...

This all for my today. Updated...

ps: Going to fell down because fever and tired.

Destroy..

Today, I went to my oral test. I was destroyed in my test. My lecturer don't know what I say. However, I already presented my best. Now i worry how i going to past on this almost forgetable subject. Feel that I so failure. I cannot fail this subject. So sad and disappointed to me. How can I forget all those thing?
Come here study learn english. Go back home use chinese. No chance touch to Bahasa. College said they will arrange the scedure for us to take MPW subject. Find, I wait. Two years later on,

Program leader: Those local students who need to take MPW subject need to register by your own. I not arrange for you.

Oh my God! Why did'nt you tell early? I forgot everthing already.

How I going to handle this time challenge? I really no idea. Exam coming soon. I need to take a break right now. Most worry subject is Introduction Money and Banking. Second is Bahasa and Moral. Those three is killing me. M&B...T.T

Poor in writing in English is it a fault? Poor writing skills is it my fault?
Answer: Yes, is youe fault. Because you not yet prepared. Yes, you are. Because you not yet handle. Yes, you are....

Why still sitting here blaming yourself? Go read more. Is it enough time to me now?

ps: Diploma you cannot handle, how you going to handle your degree? Don't dream. Come back to reality.

=.=!!

I don't know what should I set my title already.

Housemate: Shiney, did you know got few handsome guys move in opposite house.
Shine: Really???
Housemate: Ya, they all look handsome and like 'pemjabi'...
Roomate: Shiney, give me first. Dont rampas with me.
Shine: oh...[not interest]

I am who I am. You want the guy just take it. I not mind.

ps: If the guys is really like you, he will give you enough patient waiting for you or using all the ways he know close to you just because he want be with you.

Lessbian/ toys/ class mood

Recently, some of my friend ask me, are u lessbian? I said: What you think? My friend said:50/50. Then I just answer more confidence then me. You guys are my 10 years friends how can you guys dont know me? haha... I think you guys will answer me: How I know? People will change. But right here I telling you guys, become lessbian... I cannot say that less chance to be, but for now I confidence to said to you I not. Even I wish to.
However, I admit that recently I like to look at 'leng lui' because around me got no 'liang zai'. All is liang lui. So I just look around only. But those are not really liang lui...but is hot lah... Liang lui, just only take a look cannot fall in love. Except the people is nice in character and personality. But that you need time to understand.

Toys

Today, my lao po bring a toy in college. Befere the class starting, we were chating outside the class room. Few minutes ago, another classmate was came in and joined our conversation. She keep playing around with my lao po's toys...

ps: I dont have any one send me the present is toys... 我没有收过公仔作为礼物。pity...^^

Continously, during the class, the lecturer know what I wrote on the survey paper. I remember that I wrote: she should teach Acedemic English. This subject is challenging. She know that I wrote it and just now she try to point out. And she point me. haiz...i think my paper is going dangerous. Better i score in MCQ. Quiz 2!!! Not giving up to any reason!

ps: shiney!!!加油！！！

无奈的一天

为什么今天是无奈的一天？无奈是怎么来？依我的见解，无奈是你早就猜测到事情的结果，你早有心理准备，所以当事情跟你想象的差不多一样或者一样，那么就是了。其实，为什么今天我很无奈？今天，我预测……应该是说我不是预测，我知道，她今天会这样了。无可避免，不能做鸵鸟。唯一……令我既生气又无奈的是，每个人在面对自己的事情的时候都会有压力。可是，你至少要懂得控制。
你做错东西，我不能骂你，不能罚你脾气。其实，是我选择沉默。这就是我的方式，因为我知道，我要认真生气起来，再绝的事情都有可能会发生。可是，我做错东西，你就没有顾虑。有时候我在想为什么你我能忍受你忍了两年多？是我犯贱吗？我做错的只是小事。为什么每次我总是以沉默代替，因为我根本就不想跟你说话。我也有我的骄傲，我的自尊。
大家在同一组。说好的每个人负责一个科目，我的科目做完了。现在还剩两科，一个是你负责，理应，另一个是我的另一个朋友负责，可是，因为她的理由是她负责了moral assignment.所以，现在迫使我必须也负责那个科目。我一个人拿六科: company law, business statistic, moral, bm, m&b and human resources.你们才拿四科。我不怕辛苦。你要我做assignment我无所谓。
可是，可以不可以请你注意你的语气？你压力难道我就没有吗？你有想过当我忙一份不比你少的assignment的时候你在做什么？你问也没问。我甚至连叫你帮忙都没有。我一手包办。没有怨言。现在，你要我帮忙，我帮。你的电脑的program跟我还有学校的不一样，所以design出来的assignment顺序当然会不同。
我很想问你：我到底做错什么？你的assignment我跟本就没有做什么。我只是改了些东西。你的资料你的‘线人’已经给了你全部。而我，还要熬夜把不同的书及note看完，了解……然后才能‘生产’出assignment。你呢？只是花了五个小时，写一份。我花了多少时间？讲师给的资料难道充足吗？只靠他那些资料可以吗？行吗？虽然，这个讲师是很容易拿分。可是，我不想我的东西做的那么马虎。就像你做你的东西那样，认真。
我真的希望你，知道，我也有脾气。我也有压力。不只是你。我只是选择了我的方式掩盖我的压力。也希望你记得，我的压力不比你的小。

ps:你不了解我，那么就不要乱来伤害我。因为我可能会因为你微妙的动作及语言而伤心。

graduate

The person who always skip class can catches lecturer view. But the person who always go for class why lecturer not keep the view for them? The person who always go class dont know anything however people who not always go for class know how to answer the question. What wrong? Izzit the people who always go for class do not listen wht lecturer say? And how to explain people who always skip class?
Today, discuss with my friends where they want to continous their degree? Everyone have their own plan but me??? Still....Again, should I, Am I? Answer? I know. But want to action? erm...whatever lah... Final coming soon... So fast.. This is my last semester. last semester...
Lost confidence, lost direction...I need GPS! haha...

Shiney!!! Cheer Up!!!

Diary[Chapterxxx]

This is my 'third child'. Early in the morning become my alarm. He very truth. Got food then come to you, no food then not border you also. He very naughty. When he want to sleep need a cane. He 'clever' u know? For example, he crying because he want someone to hug him! Damn me... I get bully! T.T He smart because when he want to go kitchen and look for my mom, then he lazy climb to behind, then he look at me and cry... Sometime when himm make you angry, you want to punish him, he throw a sweet smile to you. ==!! How can u punished him with a sweet's smiling face?打不得。骂不得。可是，抱得。

Diary[Chapterxx]

What today i put my title as diary chapterxx? Because i dont know what to name of today mood. Today is father's day, but i have no money to treat my dad a meal. But never mind i tell myself next time i have. Now not in time. I not effort to do that. I promise that, i will treat my dad a meal when i efforts.
Next thing is today i have nice experience...
mom: hey, outside that have free electronic chair. Go to get one sit.
me: huh???[oh my god! Eletronic...hmmm==!!]
mom:as your sister go also after we have a dinner.
sister: i dont want! later sot sha liao.
mom: no! that is no feeling de.
[izzit really no feeling? i feeling now thousand plus' ants around my body.]
me: lier
mom: you dont want to go but your sister must going.
[forcing my sister.]
sister: if sister not going then i also dont want to go.
me:==! I just go there 8 only.

But...... Siting here, nothing to do just can watch football matches.[But I not wear my optical lenses.==sad! cannot see clearly.] It a bit bored. I almost fall in sleep. So that, i just can take a look at around.

I think this blog's name should change to 蓝晶日记部落。why??? Because this blog i will always come here and note down my mood and the incident happen in the day.haha......

God!!

What is the perpose i go to BM class every Saturday? It is boring then I went to Malaysian study class. Feeling in the class: sleepy, boring, flying, dreaming......I am study tatabahasa right now such as: kata kerja==!! Ayat Majmuk==!! now the lecturer make me feel a bit regret why not study hard during secondary school. Go back need to tell all siblings:BM死都要死回C回来！If not you will regret. BM BM headaches!
Now need to write an assignment is about produce a magazine about your college!HUH???!!! Bm(==!!) 4 articles(~~!!/@@) goash!!!!
Cikgu: Setiap orang tulis 4 artikel dan ia mengandungi 300 patah perkataan.
神啊！救救我吧！让我死掉算了！Write is not a problem for me. But long time no read no listen and no talking in bahasa. How to find 300 words for her?
Die!!!!!!


At night, home
Sister: Gor, inside the toilet have cockroach... faster go kill it...
brother: no. dont want.
sister: faster, cannot tahan liao~~~==
(brother sit beside me)
brother: jie, cockroach oh... i scare~~!!
Me: go die!!!==
sister: faster! Go kill it!
brother: there got pesticides. go take it and kill it..
sister: gor~~~ faster!!
brother: as jie jie go...
(==!! are you want to die???)
I staring to him! He faster go take the pesticide and kill the cockroach. After few minutes, he come back and tell me.
brother: jie, tomorrow u no need go toilet already.
me: why???
brother: because corpse is still there.
me: go to take it and throw into rubbish bin.
brother: dont want!
(me... stareon him)
me: go die!!!

Embarrassing

Feeling embarrassing. How u tell someone when u already told him or her so many times? In the same way, how i going to tell my housemate close the door? She not closed the gate door after she drive in or drive out the car. Because she is lazy. And we are already give up become her 'maid' to close up the door for her.
However, she become more worst. Now she not close the front door also. Not the first time we saw and we close it up for her. Hey, i know got someone in the hall. But once they are in front of the computer and wear ear free then do you think they still will reliase someone walking in?
Does she use her heart to care about our life? She got some bad experience before, is it she not learn from that? Here already happened so many time robbery cases. Got few is boy' student house next to our house only. But here is girl student house...
Last time also have someone quietly walk in and stared of our house. Told already, but they still... Haiz... whatever lah, if really something happen i think then only sit down and cry... then the time only they will scare. But i think they still not learn from that.

Helpness!

First story

This is the first blog I created for me to write my life story. And it is public. So i still thinking what language I should use. However ,since this is first time using english to writing a blog and I also need to improve my english also, due to wish u all can correct my grammar mistake during u are reading my blog. Thank.
Today, i make a decision and briefly to require. Actualy this trouble I was thinking so many times already. Today, finally I was did. That was I 'fired' my boss. Actualy he is nice but pay is not that nice. I can stay with him for around two month just because of i want to learn something from him. So, i not really care about the salary. But, now, i can handle all his staff already, so become a boss why not increase my salary?
Secretly tell u, he so sellfish! U know he bring me go for expensive staff then reduce from my salary! Hey! come on u are my boss!!!!! Even my friend is much more better then you.
And his driving so danger when he fetch me i really feel unsafe for me. Fortunately, God bless me! Nothing happen to me. I cannot in an accident. Because I donnot have insurance! And I scare of pain!!! Never mind it over, I prefer my cousin fetch me better. At least he drive fast but make me feel safety.
Cannot be ignore, he is good driver for me.. ^^ But recently he missing. Don't know where he gone. Miss him...^^

公开的心情部落

这个部落格，是我第一次将我的心情公开。同时，这个部落格会被我认为丢我心情垃圾的地方。哈哈……不然就是自己说话的地方。
为什么会被称为蓝晶部落？因为，我喜欢蓝色水晶。总觉得蓝色的水晶会很透澈，很美，迷人……也因为这个原因我的笔名也称作为蓝晶。
在这个部落诞生前，我已经有过好几个部落格了。可是，我都忘记了邮址不然就是密码。哈哈……时常会发生这样的问题。请原谅。
另外，这个部落格也是我分享我的喜悦，生气，无奈的地方。这些都不需要掩饰的。所以可以与你们一同分享。